Food Issues
by Maaya-Neyha
Summary: Threequel to Confessions of a Teenage Heart Throb & Dramatic Declarations. Edward & Bella's wedding is fast approaching. Everthing will go smoothly, right? CAN BE READ AS STAND ALONE!
1. Alice will kill

**A/N: The anticipated threequel is officially up! Please review, since I made this chapter SUPER long, slaving my poor butt for you guys. So please, thank me in a review. I love you all. I decided, I'm probably going to make this a normal story like the last two, because it's not fair. Although, I may be updating a little less as the chapters get longer. Thanks for all the support!**

**NEW READER SUMMARY: Bella and Eward are high school sweethearts and Doctors at Seattle's main hospital and are getting married in a week. Lisa and Alexus are college friends and Alexus used to be homosexual. Also Jasper Rosalie are siblings as well as Alice and Edward. Bella and Emmett are not related. Mike is a guy from High school. Any other questions...ask!**

**Loves, Maaya. **

I stood at the end of the hallway, looking around, trying to amuse myself with the plain white walls.

It wasn't working.

Occasionally, someone would walk past, flashing a smile or offering a wave, and then continuing with their job, leaving the area in an eerie silence.

I leaned against the wall, patiently waiting.

"Ding!" the buzzer above the operation theatre chirped, letting the red lights switch off, scaring the daylights out of me, and causing me to yelp and awkwardly hop off the wall. Thank God, the corridor was empty or I might have just died of embarrassment.

Promptly, a group of people walked out of the room, clad in white coats which were similar to mine, but my eyes were for only one of them.

And there she was, in all her glory. Her pink lips pulled up into a smile when her eyes met mine. I grinned back widely, walking towards her.

I hugged her tightly, while kissing her softly. She smiled against my lips while pulling off her white rubber gloves.

Suddenly, she jerked back, her eyes widening and mouth parting in fear.

"OH MY GOSH!" she yelled.

"What?!" I shouted in panic, for reasons still unknown to me.

Bella did not answer; instead, she grabbed my hand and ran. Through a hospital.

Her mahogany hair flew behind her as she navigated us through several wards which consisted of wheelchairs, moving beds and confused hospital staff. Why was she so panicked? Was it our wedding day today? As far as I remembered, we still had a week. I think.

After assuming that Bella was taking us to the carp park, I said, "Can we stop running? I look stupid"

She slowed down infinitesimally and gave me an odd look.

"Do you want to look stupid, or die?" she asked.

Huh?

"Neither…" I replied, unsure of where this was going.

Bella slid her hands into the pocket of my slacks and pulled out the keys to my Volvo.

"Bella" I warned.

"Hey! I can drive too, you know. And I'm nearly a Cullen" She smiled happily.

I couldn't help but smile, she wanted to be with me, _officially. _

In all my euphoria, I forgot to ask where we were going. All I knew was that Bella and I were supposed to go out for dinner, but our plans were thwarted thanks to the love of my life, running us through a hospital like madmen to the middle of nowhere. After Bella mercilessly spinning my beloved car around the city of Seattle, inconspicuously trying to crash it in my opinion, we reached the posh part of town.

"It would be nice to know where I am going" I said out loud.

"Edward, sometimes your lack of intelligence surprises me" she shook her head, her stethoscope still draped around her neck, making her look strangely professional.

"Hey, don't get me started on the comments you've made in the past" I defended myself.

Bella blushed, probably accepting defeat. I'm sure her mind went back to the time we were in high school when she thought Mike Newton attacking us with eggs, were bombs. [Confessions]

I smiled smugly.

The car came to a jerky halt, with Bella shrugging out of her white coat and flinging the stethoscope aimlessly in my car.

"Bella, _please _don't harass my car" I pleaded.

She leaned in and gave me a sweet, lingering kiss, "You know I'm more valuable" she smiled and then pushed me out of the car. I looked up to see a shop I knew all too well – _Explicitly Yours. _Or explicitly _Alice's. _

That explained everything.

I grabbed Bella's hand, walking quickly through the boutique – straight towards the dressing area. We had walked through here for the past six months, ever since Bella and I had started working at the local hospital. We promised each other that we wouldn't tie the knot until we had settled down financially. Now six moths later, we were here for our second last dress fitting. We were greeted by an oddly chirpy Rosalie, cheery Emmett, bored Jasper…and an annoyed Alice.

"What is the meaning of this?!" Alice shouted in her soprano voice.

Bella and I just stared at her, hoping the anger would wear off soon.

Unfortunately it didn't because Alice marched up to me in her stiletto heels, punching me like _Jeff Hardy _on _TNA. _

"It was her fault!" I whined childishly, while pointing to Bella.

Alice stopped immediately to glare at her best friend.

"You did not just say that" Bella gritted out.

I suppressed a smile; sometimes annoying Bella was so much fun.

"You did take your own sweet time coming out of the operation theatre" I reasoned while leaning against the wall, throwing her a smile. I could see everyone's lips twitching, except for Alice's, who looked a little like _Hulk. _Of course, she'd kill me if she ever heard that. Bella's sharp intake of breath told me, she was retaliating.

"So I was supposed to leave that guy with his guts pouring out?" she snapped.

She had a point.

"Not my problem" I shrugged.

That did the job; the fumes from Bella's ears were nearly visible. Nearly.

"You two need marriage counselling, and you're not even married!" Emmett guffawed.

That earned him a thwack on the head with a metre sick, courtesy of Rosalie.

Before my love could get any angrier, I gave her a passionate kiss, running my fingertips up and down her arms. She eagerly kissed me back, probably forgetting she was supposed to be angry with me.

"I love you" I murmered

"Hmph" Bella grumbled, but her eyes told me I was forgiven.

"OKAY! As you all know, I'm Alice, the maid of honour, this is Emmett, the best man, Jasper is the second best man, and Rosalie is the main bridesmaid" Alice said, for the umpteenth time.

"Who could forget?" Bella muttered beside me.

"Exactly" I mumbled back, knowing that Alice repeated this _every time _we had a wedding meeting.

Alice either didn't hear us or chose to ignore us and dragged Emmett and I to the male changing room, which was already lined with potential tuxes, ready for us to try. My sister was far _too _organised.

"What about Jasper?" Emmett called while flinging his clothes around.

"He's sorted" Alice grinned and Jasper's chuckles could be heard.

"So, Jasper, you're here to rub it in our faces?" I asked while analysing the suits, trying to find the best one. So far they all looked the same.

"Yupp!" He smiled widely and began pelting me the different tuxedos.

--

Dress fittings should be classified as a sport – you have to master it. Even basketball wasn't this tiring, back in the days of high school. At least Bella and Rosalie have it simple; a single dress pulled up and you're done. We men had to put the _shirt, _and then the _trousers _and then the _jacket, _and to top it off, Alice _insisted _we wore a tie each time, too! Oh well, at least we're not the ones who get pregnant.

I pictured myself with a huge stomach, patting it affectionately.

And laughed.

"What's so funny?" an all too familiar voice asked me. I looked up and saw the strangest man on the planet – Alexus.

"Nothing" I replied hastily and ran towards the main fittings area, where everybody had converged.

I stood right next to Bella who gave me a sympathetic look, "Alice invited _him, _I invited Lisa" she whispered.

I sighed hopelessly; even though Alexus was with Lisa, he was still creepy.

"I bet Lisa's only with him for the sex" I said

Emmett and Bella stared at me open mouthed.

"Did _you _just say that?" Emmett asked incredulously.

"Did I just say that?" I asked myself, receiving a vigorous nod by Bella.

Crap.

"Wow, Ed, you were such a dweeb. I'm proud of you Bella" Emmett patted her on the head.

Bella blushed seven shades of red and then proceeded to slap us both on the arms.

"Stop hitting me, people!" I cried out loud for Alice's punch, Bella's slap and Rosalie's glare were not helping my masculinity.

Abruptly, Alice paraded in with a white creamy dress which flowed to the floor. "How's this?" She asked in our general direction.

She was replied with "nice" and "pretty" but Alexus liked it a little _too _much.

"Oh it looks gorgeous! Beautiful! The bodice is lovely!" he exclaimed, trying to get a view of the dress from every angle.

Jasper was not a happy man. "Shut up Alexus" he said straightforwardly. Alice shot him a glare, but I was in full support of Jasper.

"I swear he's going to wear something like that on his own wedding, if such a catastrophe ever occurs" Emmett muttered.

"Lisa should try on the grey tux over there" Rosalie mumbled, sending glares to an exuberant Alexus and a blushing Lisa.

Bella and I tried to stifle our laughter; Lisa thought he was admiring the dress for _her. _

"Fabulous! I'm wearing this to the wedding!" Alice smiled. Jasper threw Alexus a rather Rosalie-style look.

Guess it ran in the family.

"Edward and I are leaving, we have some errands to run" Bella announced loudly and then grabbed my hand.

"Don't forget your last dress fitting! Two days before the wedding!" Alice yelled.

"Sure, see you then!" Bella replied quickly.

As soon as we got into the car, Bella blew a gush of air out of her cheeks.

I laughed, "Eager to exit?"

"Oh God! Did you feel the awkwardness? Jasper was shamelessly glaring at Alexus who was enthralled by a piece of fabric. Rosalie was shooting daggers at Lisa who was swooning over her gay boyfriend and Alice was oblivious to it all. And then there was Emmett, who looked like he was picturing Alexus in a wedding dress." She gushed out.

"Perceptive. You were lying about the errands, right?" I asked hopefully as I pulled the car out of the lot.

"Yes, the shopping can wait until tomorrow" she smiled and reached over to give me a kiss. Everything in the world could wait, but not this.

I drove quickly to our apartment which was in an upbeat but luxurious part of town. We didn't work ten hours a day to live in a shack. Our flat had three en-suite bedrooms; one was our bedroom, one was my piano room and Bella's library and the final one was a guestroom. It overlooked the high street on one side and a peaceful park on the other. We had moved in shortly after graduating from college and getting our jobs at the local hospital two blocks away.

I carried Bella towards our room inside our home which was on the 7th floor, our lips glued together while her hands left burning trails in my hair. I quickly manoeuvred us towards the bed and laid her down, while I hovered above Bella, her floral scent whirling around me. I caress her neck while placing kisses on her body.

"Stop!" Bella panted as she slapped my hand away.

That was a first. I cocked my eyebrow.

Her soft hands placed themselves on my heaving chest reassuringly.

"Why?" I asked, the rejection seeping into my tone.

"After the wedding – I want it to be special" she said breathlessly.

I gave her a chaste kiss and rolled onto the space beside her, intertwining our hands.

"Wow" I said out loud.

"Huh?" She asked as she snuggled closer into my side.

"Bella Swan is abstaining. And to think you were always the desirous one" I chuckled.

"Hey, are you calling me horny?!" she poked my ribs, hard.

"Maybe, but you know I love you" I kissed her forehead and pulled her closer.

"Just as much as I love you" she whispered, laying her head in my chest.

And we drifted off to sleep, forgetting dinner. And changing our clothes.

**REVIEW!!!!**


	2. Chanel Blouses

**A/N: Hey people! Here's another chapter, but frankly, it's just filler. I am constantly reminding you that this story will probably be shorter than the other two, and it is the final one. Also, I am not a smut writer so don't expect lemons popping up here and there. Yes, I may make some crude remarks, or build up to a lemon, but I will never actually write it, because I feel that some of my readers may be a little young. And, I have no experience in that field…;] **

**Loves, Maaya. **

**P.S Hope you guys are happy because the chapters are a whole lot longer!**

You would think that with Alice being our wedding planner, everything would be done and dusted at least one month prior to the wedding.

Well, you think wrong.

Exactly six days before the wedding, Bella, everyone else and me went to the renowned catering service in Washington, to try out the foods on offer and set the menu for our wedding. Alice had literally starved us for the past two days, depriving Emmett of his marshmallows and Jasper of his pie.

Bella and I stood outside the hall, contemplating whether to go in or not. I looked into her deep chocolate eyes, trying to reassure her that everything would turn out just fine.

I hoped.

"I'm not going to argue; I want pasta at my wedding" Bella said while straightening out her blue blouse and black skirt, and looking good as always. The problem with coming straight from work is that you have creased clothes and are generally pissed off.

"Whatever you like, love" I murmured as I bent down and pressed my lips to hers.

"Instead of eating faces, eat some food!" Rosalie yelled from behind us, before making a beeline to the buffet area. Bella blushed and grabbed my hand, leading us inside the grand hall, which was full of round tables that held elegantly set plates, glasses and cutlery.

"She's on a diet" Bella whispered as soon as Rose was out of earshot.

"If she loses anymore weight, Emmett will squish her during their sleep." I muttered trying to find _one _area on Rosalie that was fat. None.

"Say that to her!" I flinched as Emmett suddenly appeared beside me, jabbing a thumb in his girlfriend's direction, with a worried expression on his face.

Bella, Emmett and I studied how Rose would scrutinize each dish, consider it and then reject it.

"Jasper" Bella breathed.

Emmett and I gave her a confused look.

"He should talk to her, since he's a psychologist and all. Plus, he's her brother" She explained with a triumphant smile.

"Nice!" My best friend bumped his fists with my fiancée in appreciation.

"I have an idea" I muttered only to be cut off by Emmett.

"Sorry to break it to you, but your ideas are sissy" he grabbed Bella's hand and began looking for Jasper.

She mouthed 'I love you' before stumbling behind Emmett.

"He loves you, really. We all do" Alice flitted beside me, wrapping her small arms around my torso.

"Sure feels like it" I sighed as I kissed the top of my sister's head.

--

Finally we had gathered everyone around a large table that Alice had booked with all the possible dished lined up; starters, main courses and desserts. I sat next to Alice and Bella. Bella's entire attention span was devoted towards Emmett and Jasper. Alice was trying to talk to Rosalie and I, but Rose and I having a civilised conversation was next to impossible. The only words we had ever exchanged were 'Rosalie', 'Eddiepuss' and 'Douche Bag'. So yeah, that went pretty well. By Rosalie's scowl, it looked like she thought Emmett, Jasper and Bella were a threesome, with the way their heads were joined. The idea was laughable. While Alice and I picked at the edible products and Rose simply alternated her glare between the 'threesome' and the food, the others spoke in hushed voices with pleading eyes. I guess, persuading Jasper was harder than they expected.

"FINE!" Jasper yelled, causing me to drop my fork dramatically, creating an awkward silence.

"People, we need to find some pasta!" Bella shouted to alleviate the tense atmosphere and leaned over to me.

"He'll do it" she whispered as she kissed me softly on the lips and returned to harassing the red pasta on her plate.

Forty minutes later, and we still hadn't got anywhere.

"It tastes like shit!" Emmett said, outraged after trying the vegetable bake Alice was so bent on choosing.

"And you know what shit tastes like…?" Bella asked sceptically.

"No, but still…" Emmett stuttered.

"So don't say that until you have tasted shit, alright?" Bella chided Emmett, causing laughter to erupt from everyone.

"I say we choose a pasta dish for the vegetarians and a meat dish alongside" Jasper suggested.

That earned him cheers of appreciation.

"Let's choose the roasted lamb, then?" Alice asked.

I agreed quickly, because frankly, I was sick and tired of these useless arguments which came up every two seconds. And amazingly, everyone else agreed with me too.

"But I want the red pasta!" My big burly best friend insisted.

"No! It looks like blood, and gore!" Alice retorted

"Well they are doctors…" Rose trailed off.

"Lets go for the orange one; it reminds me of the sun, and happy things" Alice clapped her hands in delight.

Weird analogy.

"Seeing as it's _our _wedding, I think _we _should give our say, which happens to be the white pasta" I sat back, pleased with myself, but hoping Bella would be a good sport and just agree, since I hadn't really asked her. Thankfully, she nodded her head in agreement and I kissed her forehead.

That earned me a united eye roll.

Now it was time for the cake.

"Plain!"

"Chocolate!"

"Black forest!"

"COFFEE!"

"Since I hate cake, I don't care; I'll probably regurgitate it anyway." Rose pointed out.

She sounded more anorexic by the minute.

I could see Bella panicking at the situation, so I decided to step in again. I gave her hand a reassuring squeeze and she smiled at me.

"Here's a piece of paper – write your preference and then hand it back to me" I called loudly while Bella handed everyone a piece of paper.

"So whoever writes the biggest wins?" Emmett asked hopefully.

I blinked at him; he was 23 years old and he was the owner of Seattle's most famous gym, yet his mind was like a five year old.

Some people really do surprise you.

"Um, whatever floats your boat" Bella replied awkwardly.

"I wish Esme and Carlisle were here – they'd make Emmett shut up" Alice sighed.

My parents were in London for a medical conference and weren't getting back until a day before the wedding. Alice being Alice took their fittings a month before and had already tailored their clothes for the wedding. Renee and Charlie were in Phoenix, visiting Bella's grandmother, and were also due back a day before the wedding.

A minute later, we gathered everyone's papers and read through the different options.

"Which one do you want?" I whispered to Bella.

"None of these, I want vanilla" She grinned.

I laughed and kissed her forehead and agreed with her – after all, it was _our _wedding.

"And the consensus comes to vanilla" I announced.

Everyone looked like they couldn't care less – apart from Emmett.

"Who wrote vanilla? I am sure my handwriting is the biggest" He contradicted.

"We chose vanilla, because we like it. Too bad" Bella snapped.

Emmett was having none of that.

Ten seconds later, a lump of mash potato flew towards Bella's face, and landed there.

"Oh no you didn't" Bella gritted out and filled her hands with blue cheese and pelted it towards _little_ Emmett, creating a very disturbing stain on his trousers.

The table burst into fits of laughter and we received odd looks from the other people.

I quickly wrapped my arm around Bella's waist and angled myself in front of her. Emmett thought this was a good chance to attack me too.

A large tomato came in my direction but I managed to swat it away. Unfortunately, it landed on Jasper's dead animal style hair.

God, he looked scary.

A loud growl rumbled in his chest and he grabbed the soup bowl and splashed it on me. I was walking carrot soup. Yum.

Bella's face was in shock; she probably couldn't believe that grown adults could behave like this, but in a world with Emmett, anything was possible. She ducked out of my arm and grabbed a large napkin on the table, and jumped onto Jasper, and wrapped it around his head and face, making him look like a headless zombie walking aimlessly into the table.

Alice and Rosalie cleverly backed away, so their ridiculously expensive clothes weren't ruined. Alice ran towards the reception with a piece of paper in her hand, most likely it being the final menu and gave it to the manager.

Jasper blindly grabbed a mush of vegetable and threw it where he thought, Bella, Emmett or I were standing.

It hit Alice.

"JASPER! YOU BLOODY BASTARD! MY CHANEL BLOUSE! I HAVE TO WORK IN AN HOUR!" Alice screamed at the top of her lungs. Her eyes were bulging and her face became an odd shade of purple.

You could literally hear Jasper whimpering.

"I think we should go home, before this gets any uglier" I whispered to Bella, who agreed with a scowl on her mash potato-ey face.

--

Three days later, and I lay on my bed – alone. There was an unusual space beside me making me feel like I had lost the other half of me, which was true. I was due to wake up in a couple of minutes so I could get to work, and then head to the final dress fitting at Alice's boutique.

The episode at the catering hall caused uproar between the six of us. It was such a childish act, yet they took it so seriously.

Alice stayed that night with us, as she wanted to show just _how _angry she was at Jasper for carelessly throwing things. She also nearly hit me after I had reasoned with her, saying that he _was_ covered with a napkin, making him blind.

And now, as a punishment to us, she had taken away my Bella.

Bella would now stay with Emmett and Rosalie until we got married. I missed how she would toss during the night and then fall off in the morning, or how she talked in her sleep about being Mrs. Cullen, and how she'd wake me up everyday with a hot kiss, and then suddenly jump into the shower. I missed everything about her. Only two days until the wedding, and then we would be off to our honeymoon.

_Beep!_

The alarm clock went off, which I didn't need since I was up anyway. I padded across the room groggily and made myself a cup of coffee. This was also unusual for me as Bella would always be up with a cup of frothy cappuccino for me every morning. Oh, that woman spoiled me.

After ironing my button down shirt and slacks, I wobbled towards my car, eager to see my love again.

"Bella" I sighed as I caught sight of her at the reception, looking exhausted.

"Edward!" She exclaimed and ran to give me a hug.

"I missed you" I grumbled, hating Alice and her assertiveness.

"I missed you even more. I didn't get a minute's sleep last night" She complained.

"And you think I did?" I replied, knowing exactly how she felt.

I gave her a nice long kiss, forgetting our audience. She pulled away, "Edward, there are people here!" Bella giggled and then gave me a chaste kiss and went to her ward.

I really disliked Alice.

--

"God, I am so happy that this is the last time I'll be trying on that freaking dress!" Bella growled as we entered _Explicitly Yours. _

"Me too, I've been trying on the same tuxes again and again, and Alice _still _isn't satisfied." I agreed.

We entered the boutique to find Emmett chasing Jasper in tuxes and bow ties.

"Good, you're here!" Alice chirped as she dragged me towards the usual set of tuxedos.

"Today, try this one on – I think it will suit you" Alice said confidently, as Rosalie lead Bella away to the far side of the female changing room.

After putting on the recommended suit, I walked out of the dressing room.

Emmett and Jasper stopped attacking each other, and Alice's face broke out into a smile.

"Wow, Eddie, you don't look half bad" Jasper commented

"It's perfect" Alice said softly and I could only hope that my wedding day would be just that.

Perfect.

I pulled my sometimes irritating pixie sister to the side and whispered,

"You've got the venue set up, right?"

"Yes, everything's all set" Alice smiled and hugged me.

The only thing that wasn't set was how we were going to get Bella to the venue.

I just hoped everything went according to plan.


	3. Naughty Bella

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry about the wait, this is a nice long chapter filled with events so please thank me in a review; it shows my work isn't going to waste! The next chapter might take a few days since I haven't thought of how to write it to maintain the drama and tension ;]. Thanks!**

**Love, Maaya. **

_Bella Swan _

I woke up to a hyperactive Alice jumping on my bed.

"Get up, Bella! Tonight is your night!" Alice yelled.

I pushed my wild hair out of my face and peered at the clock which read seven thirty in the morning.

At this point, I missed Edward the most; at Rosalie's house, I didn't wake up to see my fiancée sleeping peacefully, with his full lips parted as he breathed. I didn't kiss him senseless every morning to wake him up and gaze into those deep emerald orbs. And I definitely didn't feel two strong, muscular arms wrap themselves around me, pulling me closer to a defined chest that belonged to my soul mate.

I groaned.

"Alice, I've got to go to work, and so do you." I pointed out as I stumbled towards the bathroom.

"But tonight, it's your night!" Alice repeated while Rosalie came in, looking amused.

"Why do you keep saying that?" I asked, feeling enigmatic.

"You'll find out" Rosalie answered, with an impish smile.

Little did I know that I would find out quite soon.

Swerving through the traffic in Emmett's jeep was no candy land. Since, Edward and I lived together and worked at the same place, we didn't feel the need to keep two cars. However, Rosalie and Emmett lived at quite a distance away from the hospital, which meant I _had _to take the monster jeep.

I parked the car as far away as possible so I could avoid any questioning looks or embarrassment and walked briskly inside, impatient to see my fiancé.

As expected, my personal Adonis was standing at the reception with his back towards me. He seemed to be in deep conversation with the receptionist, Shelly, a woman in her mid forties, who was a polite and caring woman.

I tapped him on his shoulder, causing him to spin around, revealing his perfect white teeth in the form of a crooked smile which I loved the most. His green eyes sparkled luminously and his dishevelled auburn hair simply finished his carefree profile.

I stood on my toes and kissed him softly on his smooth, marble like lips.

"Well hello to you too" He chuckled.

I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks.

"Listen, I'll see you later – I have a surgery to perform" He gave me a quick kiss before sighing.

That's when I noticed the tired look he held along with the dark circles beginning to form under his eyes.

"You're not sleeping well" I stated as I let my thumb caress his face.

He leaned into my touch, "Yeah, but at least I'll have a week off."

I smiled; trust Edward to be optimistic about everything.

"Well go on, or you'll be late for your surgery!" I pushed him towards the operation theatre.

He laughed softly before disappearing into the corridor.

I spent most of my morning in the Emergency ward since there was a shortage in staff. There were many patients in that ward, which was quite unusual. Most of them were children, who instead of treating right away, I would engage in a long conversation. Some of the children were quite active too, giving me a workout as well. Perhaps that's why I was so tired by the end.

I spent the latter half of the morning filling out annual leave forms for Edward and me. As doctors, we were not permitted to simply leave work, and instead we had to fill in a form stating how long we were going to be absent for, where we were going and why. I smiled when I put down my reason: Marriage.

As I was doing the tedious task, my phone rang. It was Edward.

"Hello" I said.

"Hey, love. Do you want to go for lunch?" He asked hopefully.

"Sure" I agreed, the offer being irresistible.

"Alright, meet me in the car park" He said before hanging up.

I slid the incomplete papers into my file which I placed on Shelly's desk, asking her to keep an eye on it while I was out on my break.

Edward took me to a nice, cosy little café which was encased in the busy part of town. The smell of fresh coffee and croissants floated through the air, making my mouth water.

We chose a table outside, admiring the busy life of the market and ordered fresh baguettes filled with chicken salad.

"So why are we here? Usually the hospital cafeteria works" I asked as I bit into my sandwich,

"We are here because this is the last time we will eat together before getting married" He said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Which, it was.

"Oh" I said, feeling a little stupid.

As we enjoyed each other's company, my phone rang for the second time that day. It was Alice.

"Hey Alice" I greeted her cheerily.

In response, all I got were sobs.

"Alice, what's wrong? Alice, speak to me" I said in panic.

Edward instantly tensed up, gauging my reaction.

"Bella, my dress, I think someone stole it!" She cried.

"Are you sure, you didn't misplace it?" I asked softly.

"I looked everywhere! I can't find it at all! Oh Bella, what am I going to do?" She wailed.

I couldn't help but feel sorry for my best friend; she had spent so much time, effort and money into that creation, which was purely her design.

"Okay, Edward and I are coming over to help you look for it." I said and hung up.

Edward was still tense, but not as much as before.

"I'm guessing Alice lost something?" He asked.

"Her dress" I replied.

"I'm also guessing we have to go to her boutique?" He guessed again.

"You guess correctly"

Edward sped through the roads of Seattle, making it to _Explicitly Yours _in record time. I assumed he was eager to get back to work.

We rushed into the unusually quiet shop and saw Alice sitting in the corner, with her eyes puffy and mascara running down her face.

"Oh Ali" Edward scooped his sister up in his arms and stroked her hair.

Meanwhile, I scavenged the shop for any cream white dress that resembled Alice's dress.

I had no luck.

"Sorry, Ali, I couldn't find it" I hung my head.

She wiped her tears and smiled shakily at me.

"It's okay. Thanks for coming and taking time out of work" She hugged me tightly.

That was our cue to head back to the hospital.

"Bye Alice. Take care and we'll see you soon" Edward hugged her one last time.

We spent the entire ride back speculating the different scenarios regarding Alice's dress. Surely it couldn't have been stolen?

At the hospital, I went back to filling and handing the holiday forms while Edward checked up on his patients who had been operated on.

While walking through the different wards on my afternoon duty, the truth of Edward's words began to settle in; I was about to get married.

Even though, our marriage was the hot topic for the past six months, it didn't really hit until the day before – at work. I began to break out in a nervous sweat and decided to head out early. Perhaps Alice would tell me what she meant by 'Tonight Is Your Night.'

I messaged Edward to meet me at the reception for our little farewell, seeing as the next time I would see him would be at the altar.

"Going home early?" He asked tentatively

"Yeah, the events of tomorrow are settling in" I joked, sounding completely serious.

He stayed quiet, possible dissecting my words and taking out a meaning I hadn't intended.

"Are you…sure about this?" He asked while his voice broke at the end.

"Of course! Apparently my freaking out is normal. But I don't regret any of my decisions" I replied with sincerity.

He smiled my favourite crooked smile that once again left me momentarily dazed.

As we were standing in a rather deserted corridor, I leaned up and kissed him passionately on the lips.

Instead of staying cautious in a public area, Edward pushed me against the wall and tangled his hands in my long brown hair. My hands flew to his luscious auburn hair, enjoying its feel.

As his tongue darted into my mouth, I moaned in pleasure.

"Edward. Let's go home" I whispered into his mouth, forgetting about my abstaining project.

He pushed my hands to the side and placed kisses on my neck.

"Hmmn, sounds lovely" He whispered against my skin.

"But, you have Emmett's car" He finished and abruptly pushed himself back and turned to walk away.

"See you tomorrow at the wedding!" He called nonchalantly.

Oh, these Cullens.

--

I reached Rosalie's home to find all the lights off and it being dark. I guess Emmett was still at work, which made sense since everyone was taking a few days off for _my _wedding.

As I walked into the guest room, which was currently mine, I received the fright of my life.

"AHHHH!" I screamed as four black figures jumped to stand in front of me.

"Oh relax, it's just us" Rosalie snapped while she flipped the lights on.

"Oh God! You scared the life out of me!" I breathed a sigh of relief.

A different voice laughed this time; one that was new but I recognised it from somewhere before.

From the large, elaborate bed, jumped out Angela.

"Angela!" I squealed in delight and ran to give her a big hug.

"Bella! I can't believe you're getting married tomorrow!" She laughed.

I had sent Angela an invitation a couple of months ago to her house in L.A to be polite, since I gathered she wouldn't come all the way here, but I suppose all your true friends do attend your wedding.

"Did you come alone, or did you bring a _friend?" _I asked.

To my surprise, she wiggled her fingers at me which held a huge diamond on a thick silver band.

It reminded me of my own silver ring that stayed on my third finger ever since it was placed there. The round shape was filled with small diamonds which glittered in the light. My hand instinctively went to glide over the smooth surface.

"Aww Angela! It's gorgeous, who's the lucky man?" I asked with interest.

Her smile widened as she answered, "Ben Cheney, do you remember him?"

"Yeah! Congratulations" I said genuinely.

"Okay, enough of the sissy stuff and on to work" Alice announced and dragged me towards the Rosalie's room which was full of make up.

Sissy? Emmett was rubbing off on everyone.

"But why? I don't understand" I complained, feeling confused.

"It's your hen night!" Lisa exclaimed loudly.

"Hen night? You're not serious are you?" I felt the doom approaching.

"Hell yes we are" Alice said while rubbing her hands together, ready to begin Bella Barbie time.

And that's when I realised that tonight was my night.

Two hours, three cups of coffee and a tuna sandwich later, I was ready. My hair was left down with gentle waves going through it, and I had natural make up on, with some mascara, eyeliner, lip gloss and a light coat of foundation. I was dressed in very teenager looking clothes: black tights with black boots, a denim skirt and a very heavily decorated pink t-shirt – well at least I didn't look like a slut.

I sat on the sofa, waiting for the others to get ready, when Alice popped her head out of the room.

"Bella, can you do me a huge favour?" she asked, with hopeful eyes.

"Sure" I agreed since she did organise my wedding and did countless other things for me.

"I have my monthlies, so could you get me a pack of sanitary pads from the shop down the road?"

"Alright" I concurred and got up.

I wore a light jacket on top, since it was September and the weather was beginning to cool down. While walking down the street, it felt nice as the winds blew in face, reviving me and helping me clear my thoughts.

After doing the mildly awkward task of purchasing womanly items, admiring the make up stock a corner shop held and buying a small chocolate to treat myself, I left and began to walk in twilight.

My walk wasn't very long thanks to a huge police van halting me.

Out came a large police man, with muscles rippling everywhere, standing over six feet that walked straight over to me.

"Are you Isabella Swan?" He asked sternly.

"Yes" I trembled, wondering why he knew my name.

"You are under arrest; please follow me." He said in a deep voice.

"I have not breached any law, so I will not go" I whimpered, my words not matching the strength of my voice.

"I have a right to use these, so either come along or it will get violent" He insisted while holding up a pair of handcuffs.

I continued to cower. Why did this have to happen to _me? _And on my _wedding night?_

Karma; maybe because I hit my neighbours cat in 2nd grade or perhaps the time when I ate all the cookies in the cookie jar and lied about it.

"UGH, fine!" I shouted reluctantly.

He sat me in his big van at the back and began to drive. There was another man sitting beside him, who seemed to be quiet.

"Isabella, you have been such a _naughty_ girl" He laughed.

I was even more scared, now that the policeman was a perverted one.

"I'm engaged!" I yelled fiercely.

The next thing I knew was his shirt flying into my face and giggles erupting from behind me.

I turned around to find Alice, Angela, Rose and Lisa laughing their heads off.

"I HATE YOU GUYS!" I roared and crossed my arms over my chest.

"Oh come on, we know you're enjoying it" Lisa winked.

So there were now two men throwing their clothes in all directions and making disturbing moves while driving. Oh well, once in a lifetime chance.

An hour later, they dropped us off at a club on the east side of the city called _Pure Ice. _

"I don't want a hangover guys!" I whined while the rest rushed straight over to the bar.

I walked through the crowd, over to a seat in the corner. The sofa deepened with someone's weight. I turned to see Rosalie looking a little hesitant.

"What's wrong Rose?" I asked.

She gulped and began, "I wanted to thank you – for being such a caring friend and for sending Jasper to me"

Jasper _told _her that I sent him? Oh Jasper is so dumb sometimes.

"I forced it out of him; I know he's not that willing to talk to me about it" She smiled, as if reading my mind.

I smiled back, a red hue appearing on my cheeks.

"I know I'm not eating well, but I promise I will try. It's just very difficult to change quickly, but I'll try" She explained.

"Why, are you like this?" I asked hesitantly

Rose sighed, a frustrated one, but continued, "I don't know, I guess I'm becoming more self conscious, and worried that Emmett will stop paying an interest in me as we get older."

I laughed, "Oh Rose! How could you think that? That is the beauty of love; it only grows with time. Emmett loves just the way you are. Be proud of yourself" I patter her shoulder.

"How did it go with Jasper?"

"Umm, yeah, it ended up with me throwing my spanner at his chest and him calling me a blonde retard." She laughed shakily.

Jasper was dumber than I thought.

"But you figured it out, right?" I prodded.

"Yupp" She grinned and pulled me to the dance floor.

A lot of the night was spent in dancing with each other and random guys who seemed harmless. Alice, Lisa and Rose got wasted in the first hour of us there, leaving Angela and I being the sober ones and generally responsible for getting them home safely.

The club halted for a minute as five very drunk and rowdy men entered.

"HELLOO LONDON!" One of them yelled in a strangely familiar voice.

"NO, NO EM, IT'S HIYAA HOUSTON!" Another recognizable voice called.

"AH WHATEVER LETS GO PARTYYY!" _Another _well know voice boomed.

Curiosity got the better of me so I went to the front to see who these people were.

When I caught sight of them, I gasped.

Emmett, Jasper and Alexus respectively.

And calming them down were Ben and _Edward. _

I suppose a city with a population of six hundred thousand only had one club which my fiancé and happened to attend on the same night.

Not that I was complaining since Edward looked very appealing in a black button down shirt and light wash jeans which hung dangerously low on his hips.

"Take picture, love – it will last longer" He chuckled as he gave me a kiss.

I blushed beet red and turned to more pressing matters

"Why are you here?"

"I could ask you the same thing" He retorted.

"It's my hen party!" I defended myself

"It's my stag party!" He mirrored my tone.

"Oh well, let's merge" He suggested with a dazzling smile.

As the club went back to normal, Edward and I sat in the cosy part with the comfortable sofas and just revelled in each other's company, whispering sweet nothings to each other. Of course, at one point he asked for a dance, and being the hopeless suck I was, I agreed and we 'got down and dirty' as Alice likes to put it.

"You look gorgeous, love" He whispered, his delicious scent fanning me.

"Umm, thanks, but you say that when I wake up with a haystack on my head" I laughed

"That's because you look stunning in every form" He countered.

Suddenly, a loud crash came from the bar; a sound of glass smashing.

I could vaguely see Alice's pixie hairdo and Jasper's blonde shag confronting somebody. Since it was my soon to be sister-in-law, I decided to see if she needed my help, or Edward's.

"Did you hear that?" Alice screeched, her voice slightly slurred.

Jasper grunted.

"I'm soorrryy Alice. It was too good to reesistt" Alexus's voice garbled.

"What's going on?" Edward asked Jasper urgently.

"I'll tell you, me dear brother!" Alice shouted, spreading her alcoholic scent everywhere.

"This bastard"- she pointed to Alexus who seemed to be smiling away "stole my fucking dress! Gaylord"

There were loud sniggers from everywhere. One guffaw outdid the rest and I could only guess it was Emmett.

"Once a gay, always a gay!" Emmett shouted in his drunken state.

Lisa looked like she could kill Emmett and Alice any second now.

"Come on Alex, we're going home!" Lisa spat with venom and dragged Alexus away.

"But I like it here! Lizaaa I want to talk about the dress!" Alexus whined.

Could this get any stranger?

"I'll try to get the dress to you after I drop him home" Lisa muttered to me and then exited.

"At least we've found the dress" Edward shrugged.

"Come on girls, we're out too. We have a wedding!!" Rose hiccupped by Emmett's side.

Alice was supported by Angela who looked like she witnessed an exorcize and I went towards Rosalie who was in a heavy make out session with her boyfriend.

"Won't you give me a goodbye kiss?" Edward asked while giving me the absolutely gorgeous heartbreaking pout.

I tiptoed with a drunken Rosalie in one arm and gave him a kiss, but only a quick peck – he deserved that for this afternoon.

He groaned loudly.

"Payback's a bitch" I shouted and then made my way home.

Angela and I put the two wasted girls to bed, making sure they didn't walk into anything during the night. We were also caring enough to put a large glass of water beside each one alongside a pack of _Tylenol. _

We spent another hour simply catching up on the past four years. Even though we spoke on the phone or by email nearly every week, it was something different when you met someone face to face. I could see that she had changed; her hair was cut into feathery layers and she had become more of a woman now. She looked good.

At one am, her phone rang.

"Hey Ben" She greeted him cheerily

"You got home?"

"That's great. Love you, good night!" She called into the phone.

"Ben says that they all finally reached home and Edward says that you owe him one big kiss" She laughed.

"At the altar"

We finally drifted to sleep, thinking about the day that was to follow.

--

I woke up in the very early hours of the morning to loud yelling: Alice.

I could hear Lisa's low voice saying something regarding last night's dress fiasco.

The conversation halted and I could hear footsteps padding towards my room.

"Bella. Get up. Now" Alice spat into my ear, fury melting into each word.

"What's wrong?" I asked groggily.

She looked straight into my eyes.

"We have to go to the airport. Now" She snapped.

I was left in tears; only _my _wedding would turn out to be a disaster.


	4. Kidnapped Bride

_Bella Swan_

**A/N: Sorry guys that this took a week – I was super busy with school and homework. And to add to that, I was super sick and was betrothed to my bed! So I hope you guys enjoy this one. Please, please review or else I won't post anymore. **

**P.S I have never been to an American white-peoples wedding so I don't know how it works! So please, any mistakes, please identify them so I can rectify! And perhaps you could invite me to a wedding, so I know how they work… ;]**

Teary eyed, I trudged to the bathroom and splashed cold water on my face. I stepped into the warm shower, lathering my hair with my favourite strawberry shampoo and letting my salty tears drown away with the pouring water. After changing into black jeans and an open sweater, I had an idea.

I decided to call Edward; he'd know why I was being dragged to the airport at such an ungodly hour. He'd come and save me and then we'd get married in Vegas and avoid the whole wedding thing. Well something along those lines – at least he'd help.

Of course, my genius plans went out the widow as soon as Edward's voicemail came on. Of course, that just _had _to happen.

Me and my fucked up luck.

"Why are we going? Tell me!" I screeched as loudly as I could.

Angela and Lisa had already left for this oblivion before I had even woken up and Rose and Alice were mercilessly throwing bags into the boot of Rosalie's flashy BMW convertible.

"What about the boys, where are they?" I yelled again.

All my pleas were ignored.

If you can't beat them, join them.

We travelled through the empty streets of Seattle at 5:46am when the sun was just beginning to rise above the horizon. Sitting at the back, I sulked quietly to myself while Rose drove like we were in _Need for Speed _and Alice filed away at her perfectly manicured nails. I wondered how she was managing to keep so quiet – usually she couldn't shut up to save someone's life.

To my utter disappointment, I didn't find out where we were going at the airport. Alice kept repeating 'Cullen' at every checkpoint which landed us in a fancy waiting room with lots of sandwiches, pastries, savouries, drinks, newspapers and large comfortable seats. As my 'friends' were on Mission: Mute, I figured that occupying myself with the food was the next best option. So, I tried a piece of every edible item available, downing it with about 12 different beverages.

And then I threw it up on Rosalie.

I suppose it was bound to happen since she was the only one who went unscathed at last week's food fight. But, if she had told me where the hell we were going, then I wouldn't have eaten as much as an African elephant. She brought this on herself, I tell you.

She was not pleased, that much was obvious. She let out a string of profanities, each one beginning with "fuck."

Finally, after an excruciating forty five minute wait, we boarded a small plane – enough to hold around 25 passengers. It was similar to the plane we flew to Forks on. The light bulb lit in my head.

"We're going to _Forks_!?" My voice raised two octaves higher.

Rosalie's quick and blatant "No!" gave it away.

I sobbed quietly, wondering what to make of my fate and where the hell Edward had gone off to when I really needed him. We landed at the one roomed airport, where they didn't look twice at our luggage or ID. That shows how popular Forks is.

We were greeted by two poker faces; Angela and Lisa, who drove us to a place which made me gasp.

_Edward Cullen _

I wondered where Bella would be or how she was holding up, because I surely wasn't doing too well without her. I couldn't call her since my phone lay dead before my eyes as the charging cable was brutally attacked by Alexus. He thought it was funny to strip the cord of its insulating material. I don't even know why anyone puts up with him.

"Jasper! Give me an update!" I yelled, feeling bored idly sitting on the sofa.

My best friend emerged from the patio door, looking sweaty and worn out.

"Nearly done." He panted as he reached for a glass of water.

"Listen Jazz, thanks for all your help with all this" I thanked him wholeheartedly.

"It's alright man, but remember: you owe me one!" He laughed and made his way outside.

"Hey Eddie, your parents are here!" Emmett called from the other room.

I perked up; I hadn't seen Carlisle or Esme in 5 weeks. I was so happy, I didn't even grumble about being called Eddie.

"Hello Mum, Dad" I wrapped each of them in a hug.

"Edward, dear, how are you?" Esme asked politely.

"Good" I shrugged

"When did all this happen?" Carlisle asked his brow furrowing.

"Yesterday" I replied

"Well I hope it works out" He patted my shoulder

"I hope so too" I sighed.

As Esme and Carlisle settled back in I went to the garden to double check everything. Surprisingly, the little clearing Ben and Alexus had made was well done. A patch of dense shrubbery, and plants were cleared out to make way to the gorgeous sight in front of me.

I smiled widely; now I was excited.

--

"Edward!" My mother roared from the top landing of her large and ornate house.

"Yes mother?" I replied with a scared tone.

"Come upstairs and let's get you ready!" She shouted with glee. Obviously she wanted to torture me for own moment of fun. Sadistic mother.

I heaved myself off the comfortable sofa, creamy in colour, soft in touch and took it one step at a time to my impending doom.

Standing beside the dressing table was a woman. I recognised her by face, but not by name. Esme saw my confused and calculating looks, and decided to help me out.

"Edward, honey, this is Angela Weber; hairdresser and makeup extraordinaire" Esme introduced her.

Angela Weber – the one from high school! I wondered why we needed her make up expertise; hopefully for my mother.

"Oh hello Angela!" I greeted her heartily, now knowing who she was.

She laughed and hugged me lightly, "Hey Edward, it's good to see you too"

We exchanged polite words and got down to business.

"We need to do something with your hair" Esme demanded, trying to flatten down the offending hairs.

"But I like it like this!" I whined.

Esme's stern I-am-your-mother look killed my resolve.

While Angela was sticking gels, sprays and God knows what on my hair, I noted a large diamond on her third finger.

"Engaged?" I asked indifferently

"Yes" She answered proudly.

"Who's the lucky man?"

"Ben Cheney" She smiled and blushed.

"Oh it was _you _he was talking about at my Bachelor party!" I exclaimed in realisation.

"I suppose that had something to do with Bella's presence, doesn't it?" She winked at me and I laughed.

"I suppose it does, but I am very happy for you both. Congratulations" I said.

Two hours later, I stepped out looking like a new man. Well a cleaned up man. My unruly hair was tamed in an 'organised mess' as Angela had put it and actually looked very nice, for once. My 'sexy stubble' as Bella likes to call it had been shaved away since Esme said it was unacceptable on my wedding. Oh well, I had plenty of time to grow a bit back. I was clad in a black _Armani _suit with new shoes and a light blue shirt which matched the unusual colour of sky that had graced Forks. My attire was completed with a dark blue tie which contrasted my shirt.

The house began to filter in with guests and a subtle frenzy began within me; I, Dr. Edward Cullen was an hour away from the life I had dreamed of, with the perfect woman. Each room had a unique hum of voices flowing through it, creating a sense of excitement.

I checked myself over in Esme's dressing mirror, straightened my tuxedo, refrained from touching my hair and went downstairs to meet the guests.

My stilted conversation with a distant aunt was interrupted by a frantic but well dressed Jasper.

"Move! Go take a shit, do something – just move!" He whispered urgently.

"_Why?_" I asked, thinking who would ever bomb Forks.

"Bella's coming; she's got to go upstairs! Move your skinny ass!" He yelled.

I flushed pink at the latter statement that Jasper ever so nicely shouted out to all the guests.

"_Okay_" I sneered as I went outside to take a quick walk.

_Bella Swan_

We were at Charlie and Renee's house in Forks, with Charlie and Renee standing outside.

Along with fifty other people.

Weren't they supposed to be at _my _wedding? Somewhere in Seattle?

My head swan in confusion; moreover, it was _drowning _in that confusion.

"WHAT'S GOING ON?" I screamed in frustration.

The attention of fifty odd people fell on me, looking at me as if I was some mental asylum seeker.

"Bella honey, it's so good to see you!" Renee rushed forward and embraced me in a tight hug, kissing my forehead. She seemed to pretend that my spaz moment never occurred.

Charlie came forward awkwardly and gave me a one sided hug, or a rather manly hug.

"Good to see you, Kiddo" He said in a choked up voice.

Please don't cry.

"Don't worry, no tears just yet" He smiled a watery smile.

Phew.

Alice, Rose, Angela and Lisa greeted Renee, Charlie and some of the guests they recognised. Renee instructed them to take me up to my old room.

So, I'd been asking questions the _entire _morning, but nobody answers. And when my friends drive me to my house, where there are fifty randomers standing around, they greet them as if it was perfectly normal.

What is the world coming to?

After entering my room, a flood of memories rushed to me. I remembered the time when Alice and Rosalie would come over and we'd have the craziest sleepovers in summer. Ones which included pans, moisturiser and orange peelings in the same sentence. Those were the times.

My room was still a deep purple back from my teenage years, and there were posters of various singers that covered the walls. The door was obscured due to all the pictures that I had stuck there, from nearly every event. Even the ones in which Edward and I were dressed as gypsies for the school play. I cringed – Edward's legs were bare, even above his knees and his clothes were a little _too _snug since Miss Clark, the drama teacher made the clothes Tyler Crowley's size by mistake. On the not so bright side, his arms looked very muscular in the sleeveless _thing _he was wearing. And I lust looked…stupid. No further comments.

Speaking of which, where _was _Edward?

It was Murphy's Law; the worst event occurs at the worst possible time.

As in, Edward's phone _happened _to be dead on his wedding day when his bride is kidnapped. Fabulous.

Angela's waves snapped me back into the present. She sat me down on a large, high chair which I had no recollection of seeing before, and Alice began to pick up creams and lotions from a table I just noticed.

"Make it good; not over the top" Rosalie instructed.

My mind put all the pieces together.

"AAAAHHHHHHH WHY AM I SO FUCKING STUPID?!" I roared at the top of my lungs.

The crystal glass piece on my bedside table began to tremble.

"Language!" My mother trilled from the door "Just because you are a twenty three year old doctor, does not mean you can use such words! And nice to see you've figured it out" She added.

"Finally!" Everyone sniggered around me.

The people downstairs were the guests.

The creams and foundations were my make up.

And I was about to get ready for my wedding.

I screamed and yelled and cussed for another couple of minutes then blew out a gush of air from my mouth.

"It's good you got all your anger out" Lisa patted me soothingly while flicking her jet black hair into a French twist.

It would only be good once I punch Edward in the face at the altar, or the honeymoon.

I sat there, seething, feeling positively furious that I was kept in the dark by everyone. I was irked with Alice who had to make the journey so dramatic that you'd think we were on _The Bold and the Beautiful. _Unfortunately, I couldn't punch her since she was doing my make up. Angela and Alice continuously argued over which foundation or eye shadow they should use while Lisa and Rose pulled, burnt, curled, straightened and brushed my hair.

Four hours, three cups of coffee, two bathroom breaks and one yelling from Renee, I was ready. I looked in the mirror and was incredibly glad I didn't attack my soon to be sister-in-law. My hair was pulled un in a very graceful bun, with a few stray curls hanging down and my makeup was amazing. The girl in the mirror had smooth, perfect skin, rosy cheeks, plum lips and beautifully outlined eyes with think luscious lashes. She was someone who deserved to stand with Edward.

"You look breathtaking" Alice stepped back to take a look at me.

"Gorgeous" Rose and Lisa agreed.

"Amazing"

"Thank you, for everything" I thanked them shyly while blushing like a raspberry.

They hugged me carefully, avoiding any real contact.

"So where's my dress?" I asked

"At the venue…" Angela replied vaguely.

"So that's where we are going now" Alice squealed with delight.

My four best friends and Renee carefully seated me into Renee's average looking blue car. I sat at the back so anyone unexpected couldn't see me. My simple clothes contrasted greatly with my face which made me look even odder. I also noticed that the randomers had left.

We approached a large, fancy house outside of town. I thought it was some marriage hall or something. It had plenty of windows and was surrounded by trees with a gap to let cars into the large front. The gravel was hidden due to all the cars that were parked there.

"Welcome to the Cullen household" Lisa said in a excited voice.

It was Edward's house? Well I shouldn't have been surprised because it was just like Esme's taste – it was similar to their house in LA.

Alice furiously message Jasper on her phone, notifying him of our presence and his reply was freakishly fast. Angela and Lisa helped me manoeuvre out of the car since Renee was already dressed and her outfit might have creased. Inside, I could here Jasper yelling things about shit, money and asses. I bit back a laugh – that was such an Emmett line.

Name of the devil; Emmett came running up to us, kissing Rosalie like no tomorrow and then placing him in front of me.

"Bellie Wellie! You look great!" He said enthusiastically.

"Thanks" I answered humbly.

Alice pulled me up the stairs quickly, and Emmett moved along exactly the same distance too. I went up one step and so did Emmett.

"Emmett, what are you doing?" I asked because all I could see was his white black tuxedo and smell his fancy perfume.

"I'm hiding you from Eddie" He grinned.

"I'm pretty sure he's not there" I reasoned.

"How might you know? _Sneaking looks?" _He raised an eyebrow.

I couldn't be having this conversation.

"Okay, fine!" I sighed, defeated.

His grin was blinding.

Finally, I reached the top landing where Esme and Renee decided to have a bride and groom mothers' spazfest. Alice and Rose dragged me past the crazy ladies into Esme's room which looked like it was a fancy hair and beauty salon. The same products that Angela brought for me were here too. She must have come here, when she said she was going to 'pop out for two minutes.' She took two hours.

Emmett fulfilled his duty by shadowing me whenever I moved, even an inch. Lisa ran around with my dress, which was white and hung on a fancy hanger in all its glory and Rose and Alice went to get ready themselves.

"We should make a documentary on this" Emmett suggested.

"Yeah and sell it to People's magazine" I added sarcastically.

"Great idea! I'll get the camera!" He exclaimed and went to get his camcorder.

Crazy guy.

Alice, Angela and Rose, who were now effortlessly looking stunning, ushered everyone out so I could put on my dress. My palms became sweaty, and my heart began to thump erratically.

Emmett begrudgingly was also sent out.

I stripped in front of the three girls and felt bare, probably because I was.

They turned away while I put on 'appealing' underwear for my honeymoon and I began to panic again – I was about to get married.

I took in deep breaths and pulled up the white dress.

Alice hurried and zipped me up, making some final alterations and making sure my hair and make up was alright. Rose slipped my shoes on which were encrusted with simple stones and were of reasonable height. They matched perfectly with my dress and even looked nice on my pedicure feet. Lisa, who was clad in a uncharacteristically classic dress rushed in with a jewellery box in her hand.

"This is from Edward" She said breathlessly.

My heart leapt at his name and my lips pulled up into a smile.

I opened the box to find an amazing diamond necklace and studs along with an ornate bracelet.

"Wow" I gasped, speechless.

Alice was in no mood for emotions; she grabbed the set and thrust it around my neck, wrist and on my ears.

Eventually, I was ready; I looked in the floor length mirror and was pleased. My wedding was back on track and just like I had imagined it.

Charlie walked in, dressed in the new suit Alice had tailored for him, which actually _fit _him. He was looking pretty good, since his grey sideburns were now brown and his skin wasn't sagging.

"Are you ready, Bells?" He asked nervously.

"Not at all, but let's go" I took in deep breaths and linked arms with my father, facing my future life.


	5. Chicken Curry

**A/N: Sorry guys this took a whole week! But this isn't the end; I still have a lot planned out for our lovebirds, since I didn't want to leave it hanging. Please forgive me for taking such a long time and please review! I love you guys! Love, Maaya. **

Deep breaths, in and out. Compulsively adjusting my tux every two seconds, I kept my eyes on the entrance at the end of the paved pathway in front of me.

My eyes scanned the surroundings, taking in the daisies, violets, daffodils and the odd rose which swayed blissfully in the soft breeze. The wind ran its fingers through the lush green grass while the unusual crystal blue sky looked on in pleasure. The trees swung subtly brushing their leaves in the electric atmosphere.

I stood beside the priest, David Petrie, who had done every wedding that ever took place in Forks, who poised a leather bound book on his hands, occasionally peering above his silver reading glasses.

The guests sat patiently on the one hundred seats which were carefully aligned in the centre of the meadow. They chatted easily, but still eager for the nuptial to begin.

My hands twitched with nervousness, impatience and excitement which Jasper sensed. He placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"Relax, everything will be fine" He reassured.

"Okay" I said, quite unconvincingly.

Rosalie sat herself elegantly at the white piano which was set up on the left hand side where there was nothing but the piano. Her fingers poised upon the keys and then began to flow, the calms sounds of Claire De Lune travelling through the sound waves.

Renee and Esme walked in quietly, side by side in floor length dresses for modesty since their _children _were getting married.They came around the side and seated themselves at the front. Next, came in Carlisle, calm as ever, as if attending his son's wedding was an everyday event. He strolled towards me and patted me cheerily on the back.

"Don't worry, son. You won't regret your decision. I sure didn't" He consoled while gazing lovingly at his wife.

I nodded mutely, as the nerves were getting to me now. He casually went and sat in the front row and beamed up at us.

Emmett was unusually quite, almost as tense at me. He stood on my right, rigid and blankly looking forward. I would ask him about that later, since I was a little occupied myself.

My eyes swivelled to the two figures approaching me.

Charlie, who had visibly cleaned up for the event, gripped onto his daughter, probably hoping she didn't fall flat on her face in the next thirty seconds. Bella, walked slowly and carefully towards me with her eyes averted.

Her dress made her look gorgeous; the creamy white fabric fitted her perfectly, bringing out the best in her. The bodice was tight at the top and then flowed freely at the bottom, making Bella's body look amazingly graceful. The jewellery which Jasper and I bought yesterday afternoon twinkled and shone as the sun's rays hit them.

Bella looked heartbreakingly beautiful.

Alice, who appeared out of thin air in the dress which had caused so much drama, rushed forward to help Bella ascend the few steps to where I stood. She came face to face with me when a familiar crimson hue tainted her cheeks.

"She's all yours" Charlie mumbled, feeling uncomfortable with the emotional rush.

"Thank you" I said fervently.

He walked slowly to where Carlisle was seated and placed himself there.

"You look ravishing" I complimented.

Bella smiled shyly and her cheeks darkened again.

"We are gathered here today on the auspicious wedding ceremony of Edward Anthony Cullen and Isabella Marie Swan." The priest began and then went on to reading extracts from the bible. During his recitations, I kept my eyes on the beauty in front of me.

I most definitely did not regret any decisions.

"Do you, Edward take Isabella as your lawfully wedded wife?" He asked.

"I do" I said without hesitation.

He turned to Bella, "Do you, Isabella, take Edward to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do" She choked out in between silent tears of which I could only hope were happiness.

"I now pronounce you as Mr. and Mrs. Cullen, husband and wife. You may kiss the bride!" David exclaimed jovially.

I leaned forward and pressed my lips to my wife's. A delicate kiss to relay the mutual feeling of euphoria.

"I love you" I proclaimed.

"I love you too" Bella replied with a sense of conviction.

Not two minutes later, we were attacked by our friends and family.

"Congratulations!"

"We're so proud of you!"

"You're a great couple!"

"Have a prosperous life!"

And the list goes on.

Bella and I stood through it all, grinning and thanking all our well wishers, but never once, leaving each other's sides. Champagne glasses were clicked, tears were shed and new bonds were made.

For most people, a wedding is a perfect event where they all have a great time watching the couple swoon over each other.

But not at my wedding.

Bella and I, while speaking to some long lost cousin from Alaska, were rudely interrupted by an angry Rose.

"Okay I'm sorry to break up happy time, but you two are needed in the lunch tent" Rose said.

"Sorry to leave, but it is necessary" Bella apologised to Anna.

We flashed smiles and fled to where the source of the shouting.

"No! We did _not _ask for this! I want compensation and I will arrange for you to be sued!" Alice snapped.

Since when was she threatening to sue? Did she even _know _anything about the law?

"Look, lady! This isn't my fault; I'm just following orders" The adolescent voice replied.

"AARGH!" Alice yelled and then quickly ushered us over when she saw us.

Hopefully our guests were oblivious to the skirmish and were enjoying themselves sipping wine, and nibbling on snacks.

"What's the problem?" I asked, _really _sounding like a doctor in the ER.

"Look at the menu!" Alice screeched.

"If I knew where it was…" Bella trailed off.

Alice thrust a card at us angrily and sighed.

"Where's the manager or something, even though I'm sure he can't whiz out our chosen menu for 100 people in 15 minutes" I said out loud.

_Chicken Curry _

_White Rice_

_Kids' meals _

_Garden Salad_

"At least they cut the crap with the 'authentic Indian tender cooked chicken curry'" Bella shrugged.

"So optimistic" I laughed, at the situation as well as my wife.

Unexpectedly, Alice started to _cry. _

My sister, fierce, bubbly and all rounded crazy lady, was _crying. _It was so heartbreaking; I felt a lump in my throat even though having the wrong food at our wedding didn't seem _that _bad.

I wrapped my arms around my sister, feeling surreally melodramatic.

"It's okay Al; it's just food, nobody will die" I comforted.

"But I wanted to make it perfect. I _promised _I'd make it perfect, and now I've let you all down." She sobbed.

"Hey Ali; It's not your fault and you don't know how grateful we are to you. Amazing job." Bella continued and to be honest, I didn't know how grateful I was for Alice. Can you count these sorts of things?

Rose and Emmett joined us, Emmett inconspicuously trying out the food and nodding to himself, saying it wasn't that bad.

"It's food! Eat it and go home" He exclaimed.

"What can we do anyway?" Rose asked, resigned.

"Where's Jasper? I need him" Alice asked while wiping her tears.

"Good question…I haven't seen him at all." Emmett mused.

Alice cleaned herself up and went to look for her soul mate. While the rest of us pondered where Lisa and Alexus had gone off to.

--

"So, should we call them?" Emmett asked impatiently.

"NO!" Rose yelled.

"We have to wait for Alice" Bella said obediently.

Alice had been gone for over twenty minutes but there was no sign of Jasper. Bella said it was if 'he was abducted by aliens.'

My wife, I tell you.

A worried looking Alice click clocked in with sharp looking high heels.

"I can't find him; we'll start the lunch now" She announced looking a little deflated.

An emotional day for us all; little did we know that the worst was yet to come.

Guests breezed in, looking impressed by the design of the open area, with the food lined up buffet style along the sides. Inconsequential chatter buzzed through the air while Bella and I gazed into each other's eyes.

"You're eyes are so vibrant today" I noted.

"With happiness" She confirmed.

We stood there in silent euphoria; although the food was not what we expected, at least the guests were happy.

"Wow, Edward and Bella are so culturally diverse! Look at this Indian food!" An old woman exclaimed to another fellow senior citizen.

We stifled a laugh.

"Mommy, mommy, look at this!" A cute little boy with light blonde hair ran to a woman who looked just like him.

"Yes, Jamie?" The mother asked patiently.

"Potato heads and chicken, chicken nuggets!" He yelled.

The woman walked towards the kids meals and Bella and I tried to shuffle forward as well since we hadn't seen it either.

"Chicken, Chicken nuggets?" Bella mused.

Sure enough, we bent over and saw potato smiley and chicken nuggets, in the shape of chickens.

We burst out laughing.

"Sorry, the menu actually happens to be altered at the last minute; we didn't actually order any of this" I explained through my laughs.

"Oh; but it's good, since Jamie here eats nothing but fried food" The woman answered.

We smiled and strolled around the area again.

"Bedward!" A cheery voice yelled.

Bedward? That was new.

We turned around to see Renee, engulfing us in hugs, her eyes red from the recent expression of emotions.

"I must say, the menu is quite original! And Bella do you remember your cousin Mohammed?" She asked.

"Who's Mohammed? We're all Christians back until the 16th century!" Bella explained calmly to a possibly drunk Renee.

"No! He married your cousin Anna and he was from South Asia and he always cooked us Indian food when we visited." Renee shot back.

"Oh" I could tell Bella didn't remember or know any of this.

Renee swayed off to chat with the guests, half of whom I did not know and once again, we were attacked by Alice.

"You two, you need to come to the catering van with me. It's urgent" Alice said darkly.

I could tell things weren't going good.

"What happened?" I asked worriedly.

"It is He who shall not be named of" Alice replied ominously.

"Who? Voldermort?" Bella asked.


	6. Hello Voldermort

**A/N: Hey guys! I hope you enjoy this chapter, I personally thought it was my favourite, but that's you opinion. I shall be updating soon, and you know what? I think this may turn out to be longer that the original Confessions of a Teenage Heartthrob! How ironic…**

**But you see, I'm actually really enjoying typing this one, where they are all more mature and funny at the same time. Please tell me how you like it and sorry for the evil cliffy, but please review and I'll post up the next chapter faster. **

**THANKS AND LOVE.**

**Maaya xx**

Okay, I know – Voldermort can't just appear out of thin air at my wedding, but I couldn't help it. In the _Harry Potter _movies he was always referred to as 'He Who Shall Not Be Named' so, as a mentally unstable twenty three year old, I had to shout it out.

Edward looked a little irritated at my childish behaviour as he tugged me along in the direction of where Alice was strutting angrily in dangerously high stilettos. We cut the corner of the beautiful meadow where a tent had been set up for the caterers to arrange the food; it was also conveniently placed there to block their unsightly vans. Alice came to an abrupt halt, with Edward and I right behind her, looking straight ahead at the last thing I'd expected to see.

Six years may have made him look older, but he didn't look that much mature. His hair held the same shade of blonde, except now it was more of a clean cut, rather than a wannabe Edward. He was dressed in a black suit and a white shirt which was without a tie. His lips formed a self satisfied grin across his provoking face while his blue eyes danced with victory, even though the battle hadn't even begun.

People like him never seem to completely let go of me and my life. Absurd people like him seem to pop up regularly in my life, creating hassle and irritation. And now, he was here at my wedding, uninvited and positively souring the mood

Mike Newton .

A feral growl erupted in Edward's chest and he automatically stepped in front of me, wrapping his arm around my waist protectively and angling himself to block most of me. Similar to her brother, my sister-in-law adopted a defensive position by flitting to my side; her small hands tightened into balled fists and her stance looked like she was crouching – in a _Chanel _dress. I felt a sense of gratitude for my best friend, petite as she was who was putting me in front of herself against the potato lover who looked oddly comfortable.

"Alice, I can take care or you both!" Edward hissed lowly.

She cocked an eyebrow, "But you can't protect the dress!" she hissed back, thumbing towards my attire.

Well there went my gratitude.

"What do you want, Newton?" Edward sneered.

The trees around us rustled, as if we were in a movie; this was due to Emmett and Rosalie staggering beside us, looking both alarmed and furious.

Mike sighed and tapped his chin exaggeratedly, "What do I want? I want your wife, your money, your looks - basically your life." He spoke after a tense moment.

My jaw dropped; Mike was jealous and he wanted _me? _Wow.

But pathetic and sinister all the same.

"His _looks? _Are you gay or something? That is just going way too far; he's not even that good looking!" Rosalie said in outrage.

"Hey!" I exclaimed in disagreement which only caused everyone to roll their eyes.

Edward, however, seemed pleased and kissed me softly on the lips.

Mike merely shrugged – did he lose his mind?

Edward, who looked like he could commit bloody murder, nearly pounced on the crazy fool, but was restrained by Emmett's firm hand, "No bloodshed on such an occasion; ignore the arsehole."

Alice, Rose, Edward and I turned to gape at him – this was not the Emmett we knew. Our Emmett was up for a ball breaking, jaw jamming fight anytime.

The sudden change of mood caused my husband to stop in his tracks and tighten his grip on me.

"Is that how you treat you guests?" Mike teased.

"You weren't invited, faggot" I spat.

He seemed a little stung by the harshness in my tone, but that's what he deserved. After all the years of pressuring Edward into doing silly things in high school, it was about time karma caught up with him. His poor attempt at a puppy dog face did not crumble my resolve.

"Who even let him in – there was a guest list?" Emmett asked, still not speaking directly at our uninvited visitor.

"That's the problem; he's the fucking caterer!" Alice yelled.

I couldn't believe it! Mike ran a catering company and now, ruined our menu to get revenge on us. But I couldn't say I was surprised at his profession; he wasn't exactly the brightest little moppet out of the bunch.

He chose to ignore Alice and Emmett and focussed on me, which irked Edward to no end.

"Why did you choose him…that prick?" He asked softly.

This was not happening to me; I was not able to let this conversation continue, especially when my family was being offended. My next actions surprised everyone, as always.

I shoved Edward to the side – easily due to the many years of experience acquired when living with him. Ignoring his startled face for the time being, I charged forward in my silky dress and delicate veil and charged forward. My face twisted into an expression of fury and I punched him.

Square on the jaw.

And to sum it up, I was pretty pleased with myself.

His eyes locked with mine disdainfully and anger coursed through my veins, and since I felt no pursuit behind me, I cracked his nuts too – just for the thrill of it.

"Now get the hell out of here!" I bellowed, hoping I'd make a dramatic impression, which looked good from the view of a third party observer.

Obviously, me being me, my shriek sounded like a dying cat, and I could feel my face flaming up in indignation.

"I'm not leaving without you" He stated calmly while wincing in pain.

As if on cue, Edward stepped forward and ensnared me in his arms.

"Well you'll be here for a while" Edward retorted, venom filling his voice.

The stubborn disposition of my husband and I caused his resolve to waver.

"Fine, a kiss" Mike reasoned.

I wondered how much lower he could stoop – did he have not an ounce of dignity? I was also internally debating on what to do; kiss Mike and get it over with, or complicate the already unpleasant situation.

"Wait for me beside the trees; I don't want my husband of _forty minutes _to witness this" I said brusquely while pointing to a deep random spot in the forest. He obeyed happily and bounced over. I watched him go in immense distaste.

As soon as he was out of earshot, I ran to Emmett.

"Please help me! I'll be forever grateful!" I begged him.

"What do you want me to do? Kiss him?" Emmett asked incredulously.

"Yes! Anything!" I replied desperately

"Look at Edward! Look at him!" I cried while watching him stand as still as a statue with a face contorted into agony.

"I have a girlfriend!" Emmett hissed, as his eyebrows pinched in indecision, with his blue eyes tightly shut.

"Please! I'll do whatever you want!" I promised

He sighed while his eyes swivelled to Rosalie, who looked gorgeous, even with a deep frown etched on her beautiful face.

"Fine!" Emmett agreed grudgingly.

"I've always wanted to kiss a guy" He added with a cheeky grin.

Trust Emmett to find this positive.

I stumbled to where the jackass casually leant against the thick brown tree as if kissing a married woman on her wedding day is perfectly normal.

"Close your eyes" I whispered as I touched his waist and then flinched.

He did as I said and Emmett tiptoed forward and quickly pecked his lips. Of course, Mike wanted some more action and to my horror, deepened the kiss, while I grabbed his hands. Emmett flailed his arms in displeasure and looked at me, cringing and blinking rapidly to get my attention. I quickly let go of Mike's clammy hands and pushed Emmett to the side so he could run away. Gasping, my best friend sprinted to the others while Mike opened his eyes slowly.

"That was amazing!" Mike exclaimed, looking elated.

"Feeling's not mutual" I muttered rudely

"Well I guess I should go; bye Bella!" He waved and turned to walk towards a van.

"Good ridden you Looney!" I screeched and turned back to my husband, who looked much happier.

--

"Bella, I'm sorry!" Edward apologised for the umpteenth time already.

"Edward, shut up, it's over!" I said, annoyed.

We were sitting at the largest table while people gossiped about Cousin Anna and Mohammed, who I had no recollection of ever meeting and how they were now in some remote village in South Asia.

Edward and I shared a plate of potato smileys and chicken curry, swirling them around the large white plate. Today's events were enough to curb my appetite fro the next week.

"Did I tell you how dazzling you look?" Edward whispered into my ear, sending my heart into over drive.

"Numerous times, and you look quite fine too" I giggled, as my cheeks were tainted in their usual scarlet hue.

He smiled my favourite crooked smile, illuminating his crystal white teeth through his full lips, which I ended up kissing passionately.

"I need the toilet, urgent!" He mumbled against my lips and then left reluctantly, leaving me pouting after him, wondering if he needed the _toilet, _or _something else. _

Precisely thirty seconds later, Alice appeared at my side, a scowl plastered on her pixie face.

"Why must you be the bearer of terrible news?" I sighed

Her scowl deepened and she looked freakishly like her brother, just in female form.

"I'm ever so sorry, I hope you know that, but my worst mistake was using _this _caterer." She spoke bitterly.

I gave her a warm hug, letting her know she was forgiven, even though there was nothing to forgive for. Anyway, all the drama had occurred 'backstage.'

"The bloody cake" Was all she said.

"And my bloody boyfriend" She added.

"What happened to the cake and Jasper?" I asked, not really caring anymore, but still intent on letting Alice let her fumes out.

"Come with me" She instructed and grasped my hand and pulling back to the wretched tents.

We trailed across the meadow, with the bottom of my dress threatening to turn green any moment now thanks to the eons of grass around us.

The first person I saw in the tent was Lisa; staring at something with squinted eyes as if it was the sun. Her fancy dress was a little creased as she stood on her uncharacteristically delicate heels.

I realised she was looking at the cake.

"Lisa! Where did you go?" I shouted across the empty space.

She trotted over looking a little shaken as she smiled shakily.

"I was over at the reception area; sorry!" She apologised with a too bright smile.

"What were you doing there?" I asked suspiciously.

Lisa bit her lip, taking in some lip gloss in the process, and then gave in, "The mikes broke, the speaker cords got lost and the were no champagne glasses for the toast" she spoke so fast, all the words collided into each other, sounding like mush.

I think I nearly had a heart attack; the space suddenly felt too small and Lisa was dangerously teetering on an unsteady ground.

"Relax, Bells! I got it fixed – it's all perfect!" Lisa explained hastily, while steadying me by the shoulders.

"Are you sure?" I asked breathlessly while wiping sheen of sweat from my forehead.

"Absolutely positive – I wouldn't be here otherwise" She assured me.

After a few more careful breaths, I walked closer to the cake; it was four layers high, vanilla flavoured and covered in a thick coating of elaborately decorated icing. That was one thing I was looking forward to eat. What did Alice find so unfit about it?

"It's perfect" I acknowledged

Alice raised a perfectly arched eyebrow – as if challenging me.

"Oh yeah? Check out the other side" She answered smugly.

Cautiously, I strode to the other side of the circular table on which the cake was placed.

My eyes widened and my mouth was shamelessly wide.

There, on the other side of my dream cake was an enormous crater like hole. It looked like someone has scooped or dug it out in some sort of excavation, mistaking it for the Grand Canyon or something.

I was literally shaking with anger - who could be so heartless?

But, what surpassed the damage was the actual cake, which was made of _ice cream! _

My face twisted into a hideous grimace.

Alice must have read my thoughts and began ranting – for both my sake and hers.

"I bloody well hate that no good son of a bitch! Who in their right mind orders a fucking gateau in 75 degrees Fahrenheit?!" Alice howled.

If she was trying to make me feel better, it wasn't working.

"And you know who made this bloody hurricane Katrina here?" Alice pointed to the fissure.

I knew it was a rhetorical question.

"EMMETT! That's who. The fucking dweeb went and blew up his best friend's wedding cake!" She screeched, her face swelling up.

"Say something to him, castrate him, woman!" Alice egged me on.

"As much as I'd love to, I owe him for eternity for the…umm…favour he did for me" I said sheepishly.

Alice roared and yelled and screeched and cussed and then sighed.

She really needed Jasper right about now.

Speaking of which, where was he?

Instead of Jasper making his grand entrance and comforting us all, we were consoled by a worried looking Carlisle, a dazed Esme, an emotional Renee, a confused Charlie and a furious Edward.

Without asking, the three of them circled the area, as if examining an extra terrestrial object, making strange but humorous faces at it.

Automatically, Charlie came to pat me awkwardly on the back, saying it would all be fine, even though it clearly was not, while Carlisle and Esme took a practical approach of hunting down Emmett to kill him.

Edward, however, resorted to using a long line of profanities in foreign languages.

"Sheisse"

"Vete al infierno"

"Blödes arschloch"

"Va te faire foutre!"

He was like a walking _swearasaurus!_

"Calm down, honey, we'll figure it out" I whispered soothingly while I tiptoed and kissed him passionately on the lips, running my hands in his soft, silky auburn hair, even though my father was not two feet away.

Oh well, it's not as if he can object; I'm a married woman now.

This seemed to calm him down considerably, but the ear splitting scream which followed, left my efforts futile.

The tense atmosphere became even tenser; Alice and Lisa clung together for dear life, Charlie used the back table and his wife for moral support while I gripped onto Edward tightly – I didn't want to lose my husband to a random sniper passing through the meadow.

Rosalie walking into the scene, with her entire bare back covered in vanilla flavored ice cream was not what we expected. Also, a pouting Emmett with a large plastic cup and a pleased Carlisle and Esme were a surprise too.

"Who screamed?" Alice asked quickly.

"Rosalie" Carlisle and Emmett muttered.

"Why?" Edward asked, glaring at Rosalie.

"Emmett insisted she drink the melted ice cream, and after vehemently refusing, Rosalie was pelted with the substance on her back" Carlisle stated calmly.

"Idiots!" Lisa yelled and then looked like she regretted saying anything.

"Please try it, and then I promise I'll leave you alone" Emmett said in a quiet but afraid voice.

We all gaped at him, again, not understanding the sudden change in behavior, while he jutted his lower lip out and looked at Rosalie longingly.

I couldn't help but grin – he was so cute.

Meanwhile, Edward had tried to inconspicuously slip away as he jabbed the buttons on his fancy mobile. However, being hyperaware of my surroundings, I noticed, but before I could say anything, he had gone.

Rosalie pursed her lips in thought; contemplating the consequences of her actions. After a long and exaggerated pause, she sighed swung her head towards her bear of a boyfriend.

"Fine, give it here" She said in defeat.

Emmett thrust it to her face, forcing her to chug down all the contents of the large cup with a menacing grin on his face – this was pure joy for him.

I think he had a surge of Schizophrenia.

Rosalie squealed and thrashed as the substance trickled down her throat and around her neck. Her eyebrows furrowed and her arms went flying to wherever there was Emmett.

Finally she said, "I'm choking you arsehole!"

Emmett's grin became even more pronounced.

He carefully withdrew from Rosalie who swiped the viscous liquid off her face, spraying it on everyone around her. Charlie, Renee, Esme, Carlisle, Alice, Lisa and I looked on eagerly to see where this would go and if Emmett could ever live to tell the tale.

After a few minutes of coughing, shouting and then more coughing, Rosalie finally pulled out what was choking her in the first place.

Tentatively, she pulled out a shiny, silver object from her mouth, the top of it glistening and throwing light whenever the afternoon sun would shine on it. The band was thick, and the diamond on top was astounding even when covered in dairy products. On instinct, everyone's faces broke out into smiles of euphoria – including my own.

"What is ring doing in here?" Rosalie asked Emmett, truly curious.

Emmett raised his thickset eyebrows incredulously, probably wondering if she was being serious.

"You know the theory about blondes being dumb, well Rosie; you just proved that theory correct!" He exclaimed, shaking his head.

They locked eyes for a long moment; the chemistry was tangible and it seemed like they were the only ones here. Everyone else, looked on in awe, how such a superficial relationship could reach such depths. It astonished me.

Rosalie finally had her long needed adrenaline rush or intelligence quota, whatever it may be and finally comprehended.

"YES! Yessssss!!! Emmett, I'd love to marry you!" She screamed and threw herself into him, wrapping her long toned arms around his well built body,

We cheered them on, feeling ever so happy for the couple and began to congratulate them individually.

"Congratulations! I'm so happy for you both!" I hugged them both, whose faces were plastered in massive smiles.

Right then, Edward walked in, flushed and guilty. I tried to lock his eyes with mine, but he evaded me each time.

I always knew Edward and I were always meant to be, but now I had a nagging feeling that this wasn't going as I had planned.

Would we last forever, when we already hid things not two hours into the wedding?


	7. Jasper Hanger

**A/N: I'm so sorry this chapter is so bad but I have had a bit of writer's block. But then I really wanted to give you guys a chapter because you are such nice fans. However, encouragements, critique, applaud or suggestions in a review are GREATLY appreciated. :] So read on and enjoy! **

**P.S sorry about any typos this was typed super fast. **

**Love, Maaya. **

I should really be more inconspicuous about my actions; as soon as I walked back into the tent; eight pairs of eyes were glued tome, with questioning looks.

All except one – my wife looked at me with melancholic eyes, wondering what on earth to make of this day. I went over and kissed her sweetly on the lips, so she wouldn't ask anymore questions with her inquisitive mind.

Leaving her staring into Renee's eyes, I rushed over to Lisa, who looked like she was missing Alexus. Obviously, I didn't ask where he was since I craved his absence more than his presence.

"Hey Lisa" I whispered as I tapped her shoulder.

She spun around and her face broke into a smile, "Hey Edward!" she greeted me while patting my arm.

"Are the guests alright? And everything else?" I asked worriedly, hoping my intended plan would work out.

"Yes, yes everything is perfect!" Lisa reassured me and then grimaced, "well except for the cake that is." She added.

I smiled shakily at her, "Don't worry, we'll figure something out" I said, only hoping that my words would come true.

I was planning to return to Bella and convince her that everything was okay and to ask her what she was so upset about. However, she was quite occupied with the newly engaged Emmett and Rosalie. And from what I could hear, they were discussing weddings and which caterers to steer clear from.

Now wasn't that ironic?

I decided to seek the advice of my ever so wise sister, Alice who was in the other side of the tent.

As I approached her, I saw that she was gazing out into the endless ocean of trees surrounding us, with her back facing to me.

"Alice! I need your help!" I said urgently. She didn't reply and instead, her shoulders rose once, and then fell. After spinning my sister around, I gasped.

Her beautifully made eyes were red and blotchy with thick tears cascading down her flushed cheeks as an occasional sob would escape her.

"Ali, what's wrong?" I asked while gathering her in my arms.

"Jasper" was she could manage to hiccup.

My teeth ground together in anger – my best friend had left my sister vulnerable and crying helpless like _this? _

"I'll kill him!" I growled, tightening my hold around my baby sister. Perhaps baby is the right word, since she is only twenty minutes younger.

Alice's hysterical sobbing stopped abruptly and she froze, pulling away from me to stare at me with wide eyes.

Okay, so I didn't mean I would kill him _literally. _Just a punch in the jaw, one in the gut – doesn't everyone mean that? Obviously, I'd spare his balls; you never know he might get back with my sister.

"He didn't leave me! Heaven forbid!" She croaked in a midst of her sobs.

Women always give out the wrong signs. Always.

"So why are you crying a river…?" I asked feeling _completely _lost.

Bella suddenly joined us, asking if everything was okay, but then felt embarrassed for interrupting our 'sibling time.'

"Sorry" she mumbled and turned away with a red face.

However, Alice and I jerked her back and included her in our embrace.

"I feel like I'm intruding…" She trailed off, her porcelain skin tainting again.

"Shut up, love" I silenced her with a chaste kiss and then ruffled Alice's hair.

Bella's chocolate eyes glided to Alice's moist orbs and squeaked.

"Alice!" She squealed as if accompanying Pavarotti in the Royal Albert Hall. She could really pursue a career in opera…

Of course this new opera singer practically gave me a coronary right there. The sudden outburst caused me to stumbled back and yelp in surprised. One look from Emmett and the guffawing began,

"Oh Eddiekins, you pussy!" He laughed and shoved me with his shoulder.

"Watch it _Gaylord!" _I retorted, thinking back to the little meeting Emmett had with Mike.

"Are you sure he has balls?" Emmett asked Bella loudly.

I could feel my cheeks going pink.

My awesome wife socked him in the arm. That's my Bella.

My burly not so best friend caught sight of Alice and immediately softened.

"Alice, honey!" He drew her in for a bone crushing hug.

"She's worried about Jasper; he's been missing for a while" I explained.

"I have a feeling he's missing…" Alice trailed off, her eyes in another scene.

Rosalie's blue eyes widened in fear for her brother and then she cleared her throat uneasily, "Are you _sure?" _she asked sceptically.

Alice turned her sharp gaze onto her best friend, "Never doubt me when it comes to Jasper" she said coldly.

And that was all it took Bella, Emmett, Alice, Lisa and I; we filed out and formed search parties which included Bella, Alice and I and Emmett, Rosalie and Lisa, while Renee, Charlie, Carlisle and Esme sat chatting to the oblivious guests.

"WAIT!" Alice yelled and pushed Bella into a seat outside the tent.

"WHAT?" Bella screeched back, mirroring her tone.

"You can't go" my sister said simply.

"What? Why?" Bella exclaimed in outrage.

"Your dress" Alice pointed at and spoke as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Okay, we'll stay behind, you guys go" I agreed hastily and sat down with my wife.

The rest gave me strange looks but then walked away.

"So, hubby, why so eager to stay back?" Bella asked as she pecked my lips.

I grinned mischievously and patted my temple; watching Bella squirm was always satisfying.

"Tell me!" She insisted and started thumping my chest and arms.

"Just wait and see…" I trailed off ominously.

We lapsed into a comfortable silence, letting the day's events swirl around us. For some strange reason, I couldn't bring myself to be worried about Jasper; I knew he was okay and would come back from wherever he was hiding or whatever he was doing.

Of course, it was interrupted by my phone beeping away.

I checked to see it was from _him. _

_I'm coming!_

I grinned widely; everything would be alright after all.

"Who was it?" Bella asked casually but still managing to look very eager.

I only replied with another impish smile.

--

Precisely five minutes and a very annoyed Bella later, my chief guests had arrived.

Finally.

"Jacob!" I yelled while bumping shoulders with him.

"Edward, it's good to see you too. Congratulations!" He replied cheerily.

Bella sat in her seat looking, well shocked.

Her plump lips were hanging open and her eyes glued to Jacob and me.

"Say, what?" She drawled out, looking like she was dreaming.

"Hi Bells!" Jacob greeted her happily while kissing her on the forehead.

It may seem odd that once upon a time, I hated him – with a passion. But, as time passed, I realised that he wasn't that bad at all, especially since he started dating his long time girlfriend Nezz, who also happened to be my cousin.

It was in the summer straight after graduation, when Alice decided we have a party, since it would be social suicide if we didn't. So, without confirming any of the guest lists, with _anyone _at all, my dear sister invited the whole year, bimbos, jocks, weird people and petty enemies included. At first I was furious; I would have to endure my girlfriend being hit on by my 'competitor' and I couldn't do anything since I had _apparently _invited him. And to top it off, my eccentric sixteen year old cousin with supposedly raging hormones were present. As some would say, it was love at first sight for them, but I think it was Jacob trying to piss me off by getting with my cousin and unfortunately, she seemed all the eager to get with _him. _

Bella told me not to get my panties in a twist, although I wear boxers and so, complying with my beloved, I let them be. And after getting past the stop-trying-to-hit-on-my-girlfriend stage, he was a pretty cool guy, and, so, I decided to keep in touch with him.

Who, also happened to do me the biggest favour of my life.

"Hey Eddo!" Nezz chirped and gave me a hearty slap on the back; you would think the last twenty one years of her life she would have learned that my name is _Edward. _

"Hey _Nessie!" _I retorted knowing how much she hating being affiliated with the Loch ness monster.

She crept up to me and began to whisper in my ear while Jacob was trying to convince Bella that she wasn't hallucinating. Wasn't going so well.

"Lead her back to the reception where everyone has gathered. Emmett, Alice, Rose and Lisa are already there." She murmured.

"Where's Jasper?" I asked.

She shrugged, obviously unaware of the current situation.

I smiled back tightly and began usher Bella and Jacob along.

"So what you're saying is, you're here and you're real?" Bella asked sceptically.

"Yessssssss" Jacob sighed while linking arms with Nezz.

"Oh My Gosh! That's so cool!" Bella jumped up and down, ready to fall flat on her face any second now.

"Come on, we have to go to the others; they're getting suspicious" I ordered.

We made our way to the far corner of the large meadow where another little area of chairs and tables were set up for the reception. I could see Emmett walking around scrutinizing each piece of electronic installed on the stage. Rosalie was going around fluttering her fingers at the old women who were entranced by her ring; you could see Rosalie loved the attention. Alice and Lisa both sat at the front, looking patiently – it looked like Jasper was still on the missing person's list and frankly, I couldn't give a shit about Alexus, sorry to say.

Emmett yanked me to the side, letting Nezz and Jacob take her to Alice and Lisa.

"Watch the tux!" I hissed at Emmett whilst smoothing my attire.

He grimaced, "Check out your cake; it's shit but you cant blame Jacob Black for having crap taste."

I scowled at him and let my eyes glide to the large cake sitting on the trolley, ready to be wheeled outside.

It was covered with what looked like butter cream and icing sugar with ornate decorations. There were four layers and the top layer was placed with the ever cliché dolls of a bride and groom and small red roses scattered around it.

"It's not bad!" I disagreed, thinking it was quite nice.

"Hmmph! At least it's not _my wedding" _He said meaningfully and then stomped off to the stage.

The caterers wheeled it out and I followed suit anticipating the shocked expression on my wife's face.

Yeah, I was right; she was shocked, very shocked.

"Cake!" Bella pointed to the obvious and then looked at me "Edward, this gorgeous cake!" She choked out while her eyes watered up.

I grinned widely; these moments make me the man I am.

Bella looked at me in comprehension and then leapt into my arms. Trult dramatic I tell you.

"Oh Edward it's beautiful! So you weren't texting your secret girlfriend after all!" She exclaimed while burying her face in my neck.

"Secret girlfriend?" I asked curiously; that was a new theory.

The trademark red hue pooled on her cheeks, making her all the more adorable, "Uhm, I thought you were texting some girl while conning me into this marriage-" she paused "-but I was so very wrong" she added hastily.

Oh she couldn't get any wronger.

I smiled at her foolishness and spun her around in my arms, kissing her with each movement.

"Yeah, if you could quit the PDA for a minute and cut your cake" Alice snapped while the guests looked on in amusement.

This time both of us blushed.

We picked up the knife together and cut the cake, feeding each other the poorly cut pieces. Emmett and Rose joined in, toasting themselves to their new bond of fiance and fiancee. Champagne was passed around and glasses were raised to the four lives now interconnected.

"To Edward and Bella"

"To Emmett and Rosalie"

And without further ado, Emmett proceeded to the stage to make his Best Man speech.

All I could do is hope that he wouldn't say anything he'd regret.

I clasped my hands with an elated Bella and walked over to the front table where all our friends and families were already seated.

An ear splitting sound came from the mike. _Beeeep _

-Thump- -Thump- "Hey is this thing even working?" –Thump-

A chorus of 'yes' erupted from the crowd.

"Great!" Emmett enthused.

"Well congratulations to those two creeps over there!" He unnecessarily yelled and pointed to us. Stupid Emmett.

"Okay, so now I want to tell you a story about the groom, since it is my rightful duty to name and shame at his wedding, and make him cringe like…things that cringe!

"So we were in sophomore year of high school and we decided to have a sleepover at Edward's house; Jasper, Edward and I. And obviously, it's customary to have a game of truth or dare." Emmett paused to throw me a menacing smile; he and I both knew where this was going and I hated him for it. I could feel my cheeks going pink with chagrin.

"Aww look he's blushing, just like his wife. Gosh he's going as red as her!" He laughed while Bella automatically blushed.

"Anyway, our little Eddie was being super macho and decided to go for a dare. So, Jasper and I dared him to dress up in Alice's clothes and go to the neighbour's house and ask if his bum looked big!" Emmett clutched his sides with laughter.

"Alice goes one step further and gives her poor brother her old scout's uniform. Begrudgingly, Edward squeezes his skinny bum into it and goes over to the senior citizen Mrs. Mason's house. So the poor woman insists she doesn't want to buy cookies while Edward was sticking his butt in her face asking if it looked big or not!" Emmett finished trembling with laughter.

I could have died right there, Bella, Rose, Angela and Alice hooted with laughter while everyone else tittered at my expense. To top it off, Emmett enlarged and framed the picture which Ben and some caterer carried it onto the stage while shaking with laughter. There I was, in an obscene skirt and an extra tight shirt and high black socks and school shoes. I hate them all. Renee, Charlie, Esme and Carlisle looked so embarrassed; it looked like they were ducking their heads around each other.

Blame Emmett.

I am so going to kill him on _his _wedding.

"Don't fret; they'll forget soon" Bella reassured me and gave me a chaste kiss.

I frowned.

"You should see the gypsy picture on my bedroom door; its way worse" Bella continued.

What could be worse than that? And was I stoned, that I had to do such unsolicited acts?

Bella grabbed my hand as Alice pranced onto the stage.

"Hello everyone! Congratulations newlyweds! I'm going to be softer on the bride, so relax Bella" Alice grinned at us.

"First, I want to thank Bell and Edward for thinking so much of me to let me become their wedding planner and Bella's Maid of Honour. I'm so happy she married my brother, because now we're real sisters!" Alice smiled gleefully.

"When we were in grade three, that's the first time Bella had come over to my house. At first, when she entered, she couldn't stop staring at us, so I thought maybe my house was haunted and she could see ghosts and things. However, she couldn't stop staring at _Edward. _Unthinkingly, she also happened to blurt out that he was very cute"

Really? Is Alice making this up, or did Bella actually say that? There was a chorus of 'awws' from the audience.

"I don't remember this" Bella whispered as she diffused into a raspberry. I smirked; she was lying to cover it up.

"But then, I reminded her that boys had cooties and we couldn't go anywhere near them. Immensely disappointed, Bella had to abide by the rules and so, repressed any feelings for Edward. Now, fifteen years later, the sweethearts have been united through true love!" Alice concluded.

"Yeah, I don't remember any of this either" I agreed with Bella who was looking at our mothers sobbing happily.

"Menopause" we both said in unison.

--

And then came the dancing.

"Edward, I am going to trip! Look at this dress and these heels!" Bella whispered urgently.

"Calm down, love, I'll never let you fall" I promised.

So there we were, swaying freely amongst our parents and friends.

Bella insisted that we should not have the father-daughter and mother-son dance because she would embarrass herself with equally clumsy Charlie.

"Err, yeah, I think we should pass" Charlie said awkwardly.

"Charlie! Don't be such a spoil sport! Dance with your child!" Renee chided.

Bella and Charlie looked strangely similar when they scrunched their faces in dismay.

Nonetheless, they stood in the middle of the clearing and awkwardly hopped from one leg to another, while Esme and I danced around the room, our ballroom classes showing their use.

Nezz and Jacob began to bump their hips with each other, but Nezz ended up flying twenty metres away, and even then she'd continue to bump hips with her boyfriend. What a spastic.

Emmett and Rosalie decided to a jig on the spot while Emmett sang 'Papa Loves Mambo' loudly and gathered a crowd with his attention seeking traits.

Esme and I parted so she could dance with my father, and as if on impulse, Bella and Charlie simple lifted their hands off each other's shoulders so Charlie could go and complain to Renee about the humiliating moment.

Bella and I gazed into each other's eyes, savouring each moment now that out nuptial was restored to its former glory. Kind of.

Until Lisa had to come and charge at us yelling, "I found Alexus and Jasper!" as if she'd won the lottery.

"Where?!" Bella mirrored her tone; so everyone really _was _worried about them. Too bad I couldn't empathise when it came to Alexus.

Lisa didn't answer and instead, dragged us into the opposite corner of the venue, through the clearing of trees as I hoisted Bella's dress in one hand and wound my other arm through her waist.

"Does Alice know?" I asked, exasperatedly.

"She's already there" Lisa replied.

Finally, we arrived at a large, thick tree with a short trunk and many sturdy branches.

On which Jasper was hanging upside down.

At first I thought he'd committed suicide. I always knew he was a bit more emotional than the rest of us, however after he yelled "Get me off this fucking tree!" I realised that was not the case.

"What happed, Jazz?" Alice asked as she raised her chin to kiss Jasper's upside-down lips.

His eyebrows deepened and an unusual scowl etched on his face.

"Alexus hung me up here to make me confess that I was his brother from another life" Jasper explained tonelessly.

All eyes turned to Alexus, the gay with a girlfriend and his girlfriend, Lisa who intertwined her fingers with his.

Alice screamed loudly, with her eyes bulging out and began swatting him with her slender arms.

"He's drunk!" Lisa screeched and towed Alexus back to the party.

I carefully untied the ropes around Jasper which were originally for the catering tents. I hope none of the tents fell down.

"Drunk on champagne? What a douche bag" Bella snickered while yanking her dress up and making her way back to the party.

"I know, right!" Alice agreed while dancing about with euphoria.

After letting Jasper hop up and kiss my sister, I walked with my wife.

Towards a new life, in harmony with the old.

**A/N: This is NOT the end! I still have a few more chapters and THEN I can say it's the end. **

**Review!**


	8. Thongs

**A/N: Hey guys! This is the longest chapter I've ever written! I have dedicated this to my partner in crime, Neyha and my best reviewer JennCD; you guys are awesome. **

**Oh My Gosh, Neyha got me a Twilight T-shirt! It has Vampire Baseball League at the front and Cullen 08 at the back. She rocks so thank you so much Twin!**

**I also happened to need a cotton bud for my piercing which was kindah bleeding and so, after ransacking m dad's cupboard; I found cotton buds which were called BELLA! Haha I am such a loser. **

**Also, my brother's friend is called Toby but he looks like Jasper, so I named him Jasper and he actually replies to it!**

**And I am officially the Twilight Creep in my Geography and Science class since I openly quote random lines! **

**And my friend, Marilyn, has found a Jacob Black look-alike who is hotter since his nose isn't like a bulbous [Sorry Taylor] and now she's totally into him :P**

**P.S Check out the irony; I said this would be super short, and yet Food Issues is longer than any of the others I have ever written!**

**P.P.S Please read Neyha's story if you havent't already; she's a little upset about the lack of reviews and it was aher biirthday a while back so  
let her know you still exist :P**

**Sorry about the freaking essay of an authors note: On with the story! **

Finally.

It was over! I was now officially changed out of that frilly long dress that Alice insisted she must protect with her life.

Instead, I was dressed in some nice 'skinny' jeans [whatever that meant, only Alice knew] and a comfortable purple sweater. I was also euphoric at the fact that my husband was not cheating on me by texting some hot girl from high school or anything. Apparently, it was Jacob and Nezz, who he was talking to, as they brought the large wedding cake down from La Push Bakers, where Jacob's hometown was. That was the reason Jacob and I were such good friends back in high school, as our fathers had once been attached at the hip, and still are.

However, the problem now, was that Edward and I were sitting inside fancy silver Mercedes car with about 6 exhausts in total. And I had no idea to where he was speeding.

"Edward, _please _tell me where we are going?" I pleaded with him, while trying to look through my eyelashes.

He turned his gorgeous face towards me, his emerald eyes sparkling with amusement and his crooked smile illuminating his face.

"Oh, you'll just have to wait and see" He replied mischievously.

"You suck! Okay, tell me where you go this car from?" I asked, trying to get at least something out of him.

My husband pursed his lips, internally battling on whether to tell me or not, "Fine, I bought it" He muttered.

My eyes widened; the car looked so expensive and new and comfortable and sexy…

"WHAT? WHY?" I yelled although secretly I was glad since I kind of liked it.

"Well Happy Wedding Day Mrs. Cullen" He replied sarcastically.

The heartbroken expression on his face caused me to cave in, so I leaned over and pecked him on the lips.

"Thank you Mr. Cullen."

We continued to drive for another couple of hours, in which I dozed on and off. I was so tired from all of today's drama that I frankly didn't care if Edward took me to Port Angeles; I just wanted a bed.

"Bella, get up" Edward whispered.

But I was far too hammered to move a muscle; screw the honeymoon, get me into a hotel. I didn't move.

And that's when dazzling Edward comes in; he started placing kisses everywhere on my face – my nose, my cheeks, my forehead, my eyelids, my neck; everywhere except my lips. His cool, smooth lips began to light the fire in me, his intoxicating smell whirling in my nose.

I groaned out loud.

I decided to grab him by the collar and kiss him fiercely and then go back to sleep in the luxurious leather interior of the car, except I ended flailing my arms and poking Edward in the eye. How attractive.

My eyes fluttered open groggily and I found Edward clinging to his face letting out a stream of 'ouches.'

Oops.

I leaned forward and kissed him on his swollen eyelid and then his marble like lips and I thought I heard him mutter "Stupid klutz" but I may have been imagining it.

Flinging the door open, I hopped out in a large parking lot with many other cars parked around me. By the looks of the many planes flying above us, I think we were at the Airport. Seattle Airport.

To make it up for poking my husband's eye out, I hurled open the boot and yanked out the two large suitcases that Alice had packed. I growled internally; Alice had secretly, in alliance with Rose, Renee, Esme, Angela and Lisa, packed our entire luggage and even locked and gave the key to Edward so I wouldn't find out where we were going. For all I knew, we could be flying to a remote island in Africa where the malaria could kill me. Did I even have the right vaccinations?

Edward came and helped haul the luggage onto a trolley while tisking me for lifting the weight after kissing me sweetly to indicate his eye was still in working order.

"Can you tell me _now?"_ I asked irritably, knowing full well what he would say.

"Nope" He answered smugly and flashed me a brilliant white smile.

I grunted.

--

Two hours later and we were sitting in some fancy business lounge with snobby looking people sipping tea in pathetic little cups.

"Why can't we sit with the normal people? These people look creepy." I muttered to Edward who effortlessly seemed to blend in with crowd.

"Because this is the first day of you being my wife and I want you to feel super special." He answered, kissing my temple.

Well, after putting it that way, he did have a point. And Renee always said the early years of marriage are the best; ten years down the line and I'll be washing dishes and Edward will be coming home with a massive PMS attitude.

I sure hope that doesn't happen to us.

"Fine!" I resigned and went back to reading the Vogue magazine with some scantily clothed woman on the front.

After twenty minutes, there was an announcement, "Will Mr. and Mrs. Cullen please come to gate thirty five. That's Mr. and Mrs. Cullen."

I instantly perked up; we would finally be getting on the plane and I could be all the more closer to a bed! After hastily grabbing my new black Fendi bag which Alice and Jasper gave to me, I pulled Edward along and went in search of gate thirty five.

Who knew airport people were so bloody dumb?

We had been wandering around like lost puppies for ages, looking for the freaking gate, but straight after thirty four, thirty six would pop up.

"I feel pissed and dumb" I said out loud.

"Why?" Edward asked, with true curiosity.

"Pissed because airport people can't count and dumb because I'm sure the gate is right here but we can't see it." I explained.

So there we were, standing in the middle, looking _really _stupid when some guy with multiple piercing and purple hair approached us.

"Which gate?" He asked.

"Thirty five!" I yelled, causing Edward to snicker and other people to stare at me.

The punk guy smiled brightly and pointed downwards, "go down that escalator and you're there!"

And he was right; we were standing beside the huge escalator which happened to have a huge sign saying 'Gate 35.'

"Oh God! It was _right _there! Edward, how comes you didn't see it?" I shook my head.

I turned to Edward who looked like he was fighting a smile.

"What's so funny?" I asked as we were descending the stairs.

He burst out laughing – very loudly while all the people in the waiting area turned to stare at us. I gaped in comprehension.

"You knew! You idiot, why didn't you tell me?!" I roared with anger.

"Sorry, I just wanted to see if you would ever find it" He said in between giggles. I slapped him on the arm and threw a few feeble punches to his torso. He continued guffawing and I ended up slapping his face.

Oops.

I bit my lip in fear; we weren't even married for a day and I had already started the physical abuse.

"Sorry" I whispered

He let his eyes lock with mine.

And then he put me into a headlock.

"Hey! Get off me! We're not in TNA Wrestling" I choked out.

"Revenge is sweet" He whispered in my ear and then let go of everything but my hand.

--

I swayed on my feet. We were now at Washington D.C airport where every single person looked like they worked for the Whitehouse. All the women looked like Condoleezza Rice and the men looked like George Bush. Or maybe that was because I was so drugged with sleep.

Unfortunately, I couldn't sleep on the plane due to two very irritating women. There were four seats beside each other, two of which were occupied by Edward and I. The one beside me and the one beside Edward were taken by two busty blondes with inappropriate clothing and even more inappropriate motives. During the entire plane ride, they kept leaning over, revealing a whole load of flesh and batted their eyelashes at Edward. Even after fluttering his newly acquired ring, they played oblivious.

"So where you off to?" The first blonde asked.

"Same place as you" I had snapped at her while Edward chuckled and nuzzled his head in my neck.

So yeah, I didn't get much sleep during that.

Now, as I blindly went to the baggage reclaim belt, I began to be excited; I'd always wanted to see the capital of my country and now, Edward was here with me to see it. He was currently in the bathroom, refreshing himself after the excruciating plane ride, so I decided to tug off the two suitcases and save him the job when he came back.

After twenty minutes later, [I think he may have been constipating but I didn't want to ask] he arrived looking better as ever, and it was my cue to go to the ladies' room and freshen myself up. I tugged on my crazed hair and smoothed it out on the sides and cleaned any smudged eyeliner and mascara which made me look like some sadistic which – no wonder Edward was staring at me.

I came back out to find Edward alternatively looking at me and the two suitcases that I was holding onto now. His face remained blank as he kept looking between the luggage and I. Finally, he connected his gaze with mine and cocked his head to the side, letting thick locks of auburn hair tumble around his defined face…truly gorgeous.

"Bella…" He began slowly.

I also tilted my head to the side in confusion; what was going on?

"This is a transit and our next flight is ready to board." He explained slowly, as if speaking to a child.

I slapped my head in annoyance; I could never do anything right! The flight would probably depart and leave us stranded in Washington like idiots who pulled their baggage out of a connected flight.

"You could have told me. Your sworn-to-secrecy idea landed us in this mess and besides, I was only trying to _help." _I reasoned calmly.

For once, I had rendered him speechless. My husband swiftly turned on his heel and began walking briskly towards a check in counter with one of the green drag bags in his well toned arms. I followed him, feeling a rush of guilt for putting us both in trouble time and time again. Edward leaned over the counter to speak to a female member of staff who had a bad perm and heavily manicured nails. I stood a few feet back and let him take over.

"Hi there, I'm Edward Cullen. Can you do me a favour please?" He asked in his velvety voice. He was making _me _swoon and he wasn't even looking at me!

The woman became incredibly flustered and shuffled papers around her desk unnecessarily, "Sure, I'm Katie" she stuttered. I didn't need to see Edward's glorious face to know what he was doing.

He began to explain our dilemma and every so often he would look up through his thick eyelashes with his scorching eyes or spoke so softly, you'd think he was an angel.

How can a human be so perfect?

"But surely you must know that your bags were booked all the way to the final destination?" Katie asked sceptically.

"I did, but my wife didn't." Edward replied and pulled me forward into the side of his body.

Bad Perm Woman turned to look, no scratch that, _glare _at me with evil grey eyes.

"Why not?" She asked brusquely looking straight at me.

Edward found her new tone and questioning nature rather unprofessional and mirrored her tone, "I believe that is personal" he replied while clasping my hand tightly.

Go Edward, go, go, go Edward!

I tiptoed to give him a swift peck on the cheek and turned to beam at Bad Perm woman who snorted quietly and furiously jabbed the keyboard buttons. She handed us our tickets which Edward quickly snagged so I couldn't see and made no pretence to be polite, "Take this, gate ten, go straight – last gate on the left."

Well wasn't she nice?

After running the length of America's capital airport, we stood in the boarding line, panting.

"We are…joining the…gym when…we get…back!" I panted

"Agreed!" Edward said breathlessly.

This plane was much better; the colour scheme was burgundy and cream, a refreshing contrast from the bland grey and blue of the other plane. This time, we caught to seats on the left hand side of the plane and thankfully, there were no home wreckers in the vicinity. Instead, there was some super annoying woman who kept saying, "Welcome to Qatar Airways – taking you more personally" in the most British accent I had ever heard.

"Will she _shut up?" _I asked, feeling intensely irritated; did she have to say 'taking you more personally' every time?

And what the hell was Qatar?

"Qatar is a place, love; it's in the Middle East where there's lots of oil and gas" Edward has said, while smiling down at me.

"Where the Arabs live?" I had confirmed.

"Yes" He'd answered softly.

So my honeymoon was going to be in Qatar. The only word with an 'a' after 'q' in scrabble. This could be interesting; maybe I could buy a necklace with my name written in Arabic like Evelyn Marshall at the hospital who had that from Dubai.

--

I was jolted awake by the dense woman and her freaking Qatar Airways punch line. Apparently we had arrived in Qatar and, by the looks of it, there was nothing but sand here.

Great.

I turned to my other side where Edward was peacefully sprawled in the little space he had, with his long legs stuck out into the aisle and one arm around my waist and the other one resting in his lap. His lips were parted and little intakes of breath could be heard. I didn't want to wake him up but I don't think he'd appreciate being left in the plane.

"Honey, get up; we're here" I shook him lightly.

Perhaps he was getting back at me for not waking up in the car ride to Seattle, or maybe he was just as tired as I was. So, I decided to give him a taste of his own medicine.

I placed, soft delicate kisses all over his face and neck, and just beside his lips, but never on his mouth. He began to stir and moan softly while pulling me closer. As I realised this was a plane and not our bedroom, I pulled away and traced circles on his palm.

Eventually he woke up and planted a long kiss on my lips.

"Meanie" He said.

I laughed and pulled him in for another kiss.

--

The hotel was amazing. There was no other word for it.

Ritz Carlton Doha.

A yummy king-size bed in a king-size room with king-size facilities. The room smelt faintly of roses due to the colossal bouquet which Edward ordered on my arrival.

"It's beautiful! Thank you so much!" I gasped and ran to him, wrapping my arms around him tightly.

"I love you" I mumbled into his neck

"I love you too. You are my life."

Unfortunately, we couldn't use the room just yet. According to Edward, Qatar was just a transit too! Except, we got look around for a day and a half.

As it was eight in the morning, we decided to use the day and do the little sight seeing the country had to offer.

You would think people around here would ride on camels, but that is far from reality.

We had a driver assigned just to us and we were driving a very, very fancy car. Even our newly acquired Mercedes looked a bit ordinary in comparison.

"What car is this?" I whispered to Edward who grinned at my surprised expression.

"A Cadillac" He answered.

"As in the 50 Cent Cadillac?" I asked incredulously. Back in the days of high school, a lot of the Jocks would have some P.I.M.P song blaring through their speakers in the morning, and I got so used to it, that I knew the words, which weren't exactly polite in public conversation.

He nodded excitedly as the car whizzed around the city which was full of high rise New York style buildings on the edge of the sea and there were large residential areas on the outskirts of Doha. And what surprised me the most, were the cars. Not one car was bad; each and every vehicle was some GMC or Toyota or Lexus. And there were people from every country of the world.

After fifteen minutes we ended up at large shopping mall called City Centre Doha; there were over five hundred shops inside and I spent three hours just gaping at the size of it.

Thanks to Edward, we ended up buying a lot of unnecessary things like bags for Alice, Rose, Renee, Esme, Angela and Lisa and muscle builders for Emmett although he didn't need any but Edward really got a kick out of it and electronics for the rest of the guys.

We also went to a place that could be called Little Italy, but instead, it was called Villaggio. The inside architecture was similar to one of a Venetian market with bricked walls and the roof looked like a blue sky with fluffy white clouds since it was really hot outside with the temperature around thirty five degrees and it was only September. There was even a little stream of water upon gondola rides were offered, except Edward and I passed on since there wasn't much water for the boat to float on. The people were another topic; the women wore long black robes which fell to the floor and covered their heads with the same material which had ornate designs on them.

"They look like ninja turtles" Edward had said while brushing past one with some really strong perfume, which was called 'aoud.'

"The men look like roman wannabes!" I whispered back, taking in the local men who wore long white robes and a white headscarf on top.

After buying a few more items of clothes for each other, Edward and I became a little peckish. The food court was awesome.

There was an Arabic McDonalds!

"We have to eat McDonalds, come on!" I pulled Edward to the line and ordered everything I wanted to eat.

However, I settled on a McArabia meal.

"Why can't we have a McAmerica back home?" I had asked, but only received a shrug from my husband.

After returning home from our expedition, we were so tired, that flopped straight onto the bed.

We didn't even have time to use it…

Hopefully we would get the chance at our final destination, wherever that was.

In the evening, Edward had told me to dress up since we were going somewhere 'nice' before heading off to the airport. And thanks to Alice, I didn't have any not-nice clothes in my suitcase so it wasn't much of a problem – I ended up wearing a black empire waist cocktail dress and blow dried my hair straight and left it down. Edward looked dashing in a black button down shirt with the sleeves rolled to the elbows and black slacks which fit very well indeed.

Too bad we had a flight to catch during the night.

He lead me to a sleek black car which I figured was an Aston Martin and being the gentleman he is, he opened the door for me and after getting seated, we sped away out of the city.

We slowed down where there was nothing for a radius of fifty miles.

"I think we're lost…" I trailed off.

Edward laughed out loud, leaning over and crashed his lips to mine in a quick fiery kiss, and then went back to driving, when he took a sharp turn to the left.

There, in the middle of the desert, was an entire village reconstructed with furnished Arab tents, known as a Majlis. There were beautiful lamps hanging around each corner and there was a whole farm of camels peacefully sitting on the ground watch the amazed people while the full bright moon shone down.

"It's gorgeous" I gasped.

"It pales in comparison to you" He contradicted.

I shook my head, wondering how someone so lovely as Edward would think someone so boring as me was so beautiful.

After a quick kiss, we made out way to the antique table set out in the middle, with candles, flowers and Arabic food already set out for us.

The night was wonderful.

--

Back in the casual blue jeans and pink t-shirt, I was sitting in the fancy lounge again, except in Qatar, where they were much more generous with the food and seating facilities. And there were no weird business people either, just wannabe Romans and foreign couples; like us.

"Will you tell me now?" I asked Edward who was content with simply holding my hand and tracing circles on my palm.

"You're going to find out when we get there!" He argued.

So, instead, we discussed and argued about the interior of the business lounge.

Another hour later, we were seated in large, comfortable and spacious seats in the first class section of the plane. I could tell this would be a long ride.

However, due to the lack of sleep both of us were suffering for the past few days, falling asleep on the fifteen hour journey wasn't a problem, especially if a certain green eyed auburn haired good looking guy had you cradled in his strong muscular arms…

"Please fasten your seatbelts for our descent into Melbourne International Airport" The cabin crew woman announced.

"OH MY GOSH! AUSTRALIA!" I squealed excitedly, snapping out of my sleepy state immediately.

"I'm glad you like the prospect, sweetheart." Edward mumbled.

He yawned softly, fanning me with his remarkably fresh minty breath. Maybe he woke up in between to freshen up some more after eating the garlic induced chicken they served earlier.

His hair was tousled a little more than usual and it was obvious he hadn't shaved in a while. But the light beard made him look kind of hot. He stretched out, his checked flannel shirt clad arms sticking out in all directions and even hitting the six year old boy sitting across the aisle.

"Sorry" He apologised and smiled down at him in good grace.

The little boy shrugged to off and went back to listening excessively loud music on his iPod.

"I didn't have an iPod until I was seventeen!" I whispered to Edward, feeling a little deprived.

Edward's chest vibrated under me with chuckles, "Twenty first century, love. But if you want, I can get you one in Australia" He offered.

I shook my head vehemently; I wasn't seventeen anymore and I'm sure I had some music player back at home, somewhere. And there was certainly no need to waste money on such items; we needed it to buy all the shoes, bags and clothes in Australia!

In Melbourne, a lovely little car was waiting for us, ready to drive us to the Grand Hyatt Hotel, right in the heart of the Cosmopolitan city. The driver's accent was amazing.

"G'Day! How are ya? Where ya off to?" The young tanned blonde asked us.

"Grand Hyatt"

He smiled a bleach white smile, "Sweet as! Your ute will be here just now!"

Sweet as? Ute?

"Sorry?" Edward asked, not understanding either.

He laughed a carefree laugh, "No worries, your pick up truck mate!"

Oh? For the luggage! God, we're such tourists.

The driver, whose name was Josh, swerved us through the streets of Melbourne, giving us an exquisite view of the night life and high rise buildings which housed the fashion capital of Australia, I wouldn't mind living here, and neither would Alice.

"How long ya here for?" Josh asked.

"A week" Edward replied politely.

"Well be sure to check out a Barbie Hotel and buy yourselves a thong!" he advised.

A thong? Well that was incredibly polite.

"Excuse me?" I asked, feeling shocked and insulted.

He shook his head and laughed again and stopped the car in the queue. Josh turned around, still revealing his beach white smile and pulled his leg onto the passenger seat beside him. He pointed to his brightly coloured footwear.

"Flip flops, love!" He exclaimed and then proceeded to drive again while mumbling something along the lines of "I love messing with these foreigners."

This would be an interesting stay, especially with us already flushing pink with chagrin twice in the span of twenty minutes of our stay in Aussie Land.

Seeing as it was already ten in the night when we arrived at our hotel, Edward and I decided to call it a day; we had already eaten on the plane and just wanted to have some rest.

I snuggled in with him on the king-size bed and kissed me softly on the lips.

"Thank you. You don't know how great this has been. I love you" I mumbled into his neck.

"Anything for you, love" He replied and began kissing me passionately.

He laid me on the bed, my head resting on the plush pillows and began kissing me in earnest, cupping my face with such delicacy, that it astounded me. My hands flew to his soft bronze hair, which shot out in all directions. We drew apart; taking the much needed ragged breaths and began placing kisses all over each other – his were smooth and delicate while mine were wet and hot with desire. Our mouths were glued back together and nine days of abstinence seeped away.

"Edward" I moaned.

And that was all it took; our clothes were peeled away and we dipped into a night of pure ecstasy.

Life didn't get any better than this.

**A/N: Please review! This still isn't the end yet; there are about three more chapters to go, but I won't update until I get more reviews!**

**NO REVIEW NO CHAPTER!**


	9. Rapping Doctors

**A/N: Hey guys! This is a way shorter chapter than the last one, because I had to end it like this, for more dramatic affect. ****Don't worry; this is still not the end :P**

**Also, I was thinking about putting up Food Issues as a single story after giving the new readers a brief summary of the situation. Do you guys agree? **

**Also, Food Issues it titled just that due to the mayhem Mike caused with the catering and even in this chapter there is a reference to food. It's supposed to be humorous mainly. Any more questions? Just ask. **

**P.S Sorry about the long wait; FanFiction wasn't working as some of you may know, so enjoy this chapter and review!**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

It had been three blissful months since I'd married the love of my life, Bella. We came home from Australia, crisp, burnt and affronted; we had never been so embarrassed in our lives – even the acts of Bella seemed pitiful in comparison. The Australian slang is quite unique. And stupid. Our routine consisted of a grande breakfast, sightseeing, shopping, lounging on the beach, clubbing and doing…couple-y things during the night. Pure heaven.

However, all good things must come to an end, and we had to return back to America; back to our old lives in hand with our new one. Since we were doctors, our leave was limited to one week and so, we were back within seven days, accompanied by twenty extra kilos of baggage. And to think my wife hated shopping.

The humiliating part was that most of the things were mine! According to Bella, the clothes were of superior quality and better known brands over there; but that didn't mean she didn't buy anything. We ended up buying a metre long didgeridoo for everyone we knew along with fifty koala bears and kangaroos in the form of stuffed toys. And loads of thongs.

I drove home in my beloved Volvo which I had updated a couple of years ago since the previous one was losing its shine. Bella, Alice and Rose always tease me for my obsession with my car, but I think it's due to the testosterone levels in my body. I mean, what about their everlasting obsession with shopping? Will it ever end?

We still lived in the same apartment in Seattle which was still spacious as we had two spare bedrooms, so we didn't feel the need to move again. But, since the wedding, Bella moved her old things from Forks just to make it look more official; it only made Renee and Charlie cry harder. Those two were very nostalgic at the time.

I swerved the car into the driveway, right next to our Mercedes which Bella drove in a very ostentatious manner while on the downtown roads; I supposed Alice and I had rubbed off on her. Her shifts were from five in the morning to twelve noon while mine was from nine in the morning until four. I also noticed a bright yellow sports car on the other side; Alice.

After opening the door, I let my eyes focus on the scene in front of me.

I bellowed with laughter.

Jasper was sitting in the sofa, with his eyes closed. Bella and Alice were quietly gossiping while standing behind our black leather sofa hovering over Jasper…giving him a facial.

My wife and sister simultaneously looked up and signalled for silence, while grinning themselves. Laughter was building up inside me and I couldn't resist any longer so I ran to the nearest bathroom and locked myself in. Gosh, Jasper could be such a prude.

While I was in there, I stripped our of my work clothes and changed into a grey t-shirt and navy jeans which were already hanging on the door.

Still chuckling to myself, I walked out to take in the sight again; Jasper had some turquoise mask splattered on his face, except fro his lips which looked so red you'd think he had a few layers of lipstick on. Two round slices of cucumber sheathed his eyes and his head was wrapped around in a beige towel like the women in the spa adverts. His fingers were separated out with a foamed nail thing; he was getting a manicure!

"Two questions: what is going on and why can't Jasper hear me?" I asked while kissing Bella softly on the lips and hugging Alice.

"Jasper is getting in touch with his feminine side" Bella giggled.

"And he is listening to very soothing music. Very soothing" Alice added and that's when I saw the earphones plugged into his ears.

That was supposed to explain it all?

I sat down opposite Jasper, trying to deduce the situation while involuntarily listening to Alice and Bella's conversation.

"…So I asked him if he did this under Emmett and Edward's pressure but he vehemently refused and said that it just felt right so he did it." Alice said.

"Oh My Gosh!" Bella gushed

"Who did what under my pressure?" I asked curiously while cringing at taking part in a conversation that contained too much oestrogen.

They didn't even answer me. Was it National Ignore Edward Day or something?

"…So he opened the box and there it was: a HUGE diamond sparkling and looking gorgeous inside the velvet cloth. I said yes so many times that I completely burnt dinner and we ended up going to a fancy French restaurant to celebrate" Alice finished proudly and them stuffed her finger under Bella's nose who was jumping up and down like a fifteen year old.

I put two and two together.

"HE PROPOSED?!" I shouted.

They nodded vigorously and squeaked, causing Jasper to stir.

"And you accepted? ALICE!" I roared.

Suddenly, my baby sister's smile upturned into a frown and Bella scowled at me while hugging Alice.

Oops.

Something big and squeezy hit me, and I picked it up to find "Apricot Scrub."

Lovely.

I felt guilty for my outrage and then swallowed hard, forming my next statement.

"I'm sorry Ali that was wrong of me. My behaviour was irrational but I am your older brother and I do feel protective." I apologised and embraced her.

"So you agree?" She asked eagerly.

"Yes" I said; how could I not? Besides, Jasper was perfect for her in more ways than one.

"I hate you two" Jasper's groggy voice rang out towards the two girls.

They laughed.

"You said he'd be home late!" He accused.

"I lied" Bella replied and wrapped her arms around me.

"Had fun, sweetheart?" I teased.

This time, a facial cleanser hit me in the head.

--

A few days later, on a Tuesday morning, I woke up with two soft arms encircling me. Bella's head was peacefully resting on my chest, her face looking serene as ever. I stared at her tranquil face for a few minutes and pressed my lips to her forehead before I carefully slid out and got ready for work.

After a brief breakfast, consisting of Bella's favourite Pop Tarts and a glass of orange juice, I tiptoed back into the bedroom to check on my peacefully sleeping wife. I was surprised to see her eyes were fluttering open and she peered at me with blurred eyes.

"Bella honey, are you alright?" I enquired, placing my hand on her cheek.

"Yeah, I'm okay; just a little tired. I traded shifts, so don't worry." She replied, her voice thick with sleep.

"Take care, and please get some rest" I instructed.

She nodded slowly and then tossed back into bed.

I pecked her lips quickly and then made my way to my Volvo.

Work was incredibly tedious due to Bella's absence. For one, just because she wasn't here, all the female staff suddenly thought I was available – even the elderly nurse from the radiology department was throwing me strange looks. For the most part, they weren't very subtle about it since they didn't have much practice; Bella wasn't one for non-attendance. Plus, I couldn't tell anyone about my ten year old cancer patient who was undergoing chemotherapy or about the aged man in the urology department who simply _insisted _that _I _the doctor change his bed bath.

But worst of all, was lunch.

The cafeteria was always crowded, with doctors eager to get away from the strange patients which populated the group of buildings. Due to this, I was only able to snag a seat with a horde of gangster looking people who although were loud, looked nice enough. I wouldn't have had this problem if Bella was here; we always went to the nearby café.

I meekly set my plate on the table and asked them if I could sit with them for the day.

"Sure!" A curly haired boy said enthusiastically.

I smiled in thanks.

"So Homie, what's crackin' in your crib?" Another one asked.

How on earth was I supposed to answer that?!

"Erm, nothing much" I answered carefully.

Then came the music: it was horrific. Some guy called Fifty Cent was speaking extremely fast about finding him in the club with a bottle full of 'bub'. And each was a profanity – was he out of words or something, because the last time I checked, there were over half a million words in the English language! And what was with his name? Couldn't he be One Dollar, or since the sky high inflation rate, wouldn't Twenty Five Cent work?

"Smells like updawg" One of them drawled while chugging down a bottle of Pepsi.

"What's updawg?" I blurted out loud and then promptly turned pink.

That's when I understood; what's up, dog?

I was such a rookie.

The others exploded with laughter that made them sound like rappers. Everyone in the cafeteria pointedly stared at me and then looked away, obviously satisfied that I was clearly insane. I wouldn't blame them, seeing as I'd chosen to sit with _these _people.

After a dose of sheer embarrassment, I swiftly took my leave, thanking my lunch companions for their camaraderie.

I spent the rest of my time checking up on the ER patients since they had accumulated; the ER doctor should really take his job more seriously.

As soon as the clock struck four, I immediately left the hospital to go back and see my ailing wife, for it was very uncommon for her to become sick, and frankly, it worried me.

Driving recklessly like usual, I screeched to a halt into the parking lot and jumped outside, briskly walking to our apartment. I opened the door carefully, so I wouldn't frighten Bella and walked quietly across the hall. To my surprise, she was comfortably sitting on the kitchen chair, with a magazine in her hands.

"Hey, love" I whispered.

By the shaking of the magazine, I could tell she flinched, but she looked up and a breathtaking smile plastered itself on her face

"Hey!" She greeted my and then tiptoed to peck me on the lips.

"How was your day? Are you feeling better?"

"Better, indeed. I made supper and cleaned up a bit and you?" she replied, avoiding eye contact with me.

"Work was so boring without you…" I began and retold the story of the day, ranging from the strange bed bath guy to the upcoming 'Fifty Cents.'

Bella laughed uncontrollably, the sound echoing off the pale walls of our house, compelling me to join in to, at my own expense.

"Well I'm glad you enjoyed that" I whispered in her ear seductively.

She turned around with a gasp, and attacked me with her lips, her hands leaving burning trails everywhere on my needing body. I crashed my lips to her and knotted my hands in her long mahogany hair.

"Edward" she moaned.

Without any more hesitation I lifted her up and made my way to our room.

"The dinner will burn!" She gasped and caused me her to drop her there.

She pecked my lips and ran back to the kitchen.

"Later" Bella called.

Later it would be; now it was a cold shower.

"Get changed and I'll set dinner." She ordered and turned to setting everything out.

I complied obediently and stripped out of my black slacks and blue buttoned shirt and opted for a pair of faded jeans and a black polo shirt after standing in the cooling shower. Eagerly, I sat at the table tucking into the food, feeling hungry already.

That's when I noticed it.

On my small plate, were carefully selected baby sweet corn, baby carrots and small pieces of roasted chicken with a small amount of gravy. The cutlery, a knife and fork were also smaller than usual and hell, even the glasses were miniscule!

Was Bella trying to pass a hint?

"Why is everything so small?" I blurted out and then regretted for being so straightforward.

Bella looked…relieved and smiled shakily.

"Because I have something to tell you" She finally said after taking a deep breath.

The tension was unbearable, hanging in the air, almost tangible; my body was frozen, ready to lock down for impact.

She took one long breath, and stared deep into my green eyes.

"Edward, I'm pregnant."

And that was the last thing I heard.

**Remember; no review, no chapter.**

**Man, I'm evil :P**


	10. Antarctica

**A/N: Sorry guys this took ages to upload but this chapter is bloody long and I also have a life. So this is the second last chapter and really concludes it all. I have been SO nice not to leave any cliff-hangers so please thank me in a review. I won't post another chapter until I have a considerable amount of reviews. This will be my last story until summer unless I do a short fic but my revision regime has begun so wish me luck and more stories will head your way! Gosh, I sound cheesy. **

**Love, Cheesy Maaya. **

Breaking the news to Edward was far worse than I'd ever imagined. Who knew he was so fainthearted? Before, he'd punch anyone who'd dare to even look at me in the wrong way, and now that he finds out he may be a father, he flops onto the table!

My hormones took control and I began yelling, screaming, crying and running around like a headless chicken, but then I realised it wouldn't help him wake up. And obviously, it was no candy land for a pregnant woman to lift her husband and toss him on the bed, so I decided to call my friends; a friend in need is a friend indeed.

I jabbed the buttons on my mobile's speed dial and got connected to Emmett.

"Hello" He answered lazily.

"Emmett! Edward's fainted and I need you to come and help me!" I yelled down the phone and then abruptly hung up; I didn't care if he was inventing a cure for global warming, he'd have to come. Next, I yelled the same words again across the phone, except replacing 'Emmett' with 'Jasper.'

Not five minutes later Emmett and Jasper arrived with their worried looking fiancées in tow, while I slapped my stethoscope on Edward's chest and began spraying water on his face.

Alice gasped and Rosalie simply stared at Edward incredulously while Emmett and Jasper promptly lifted him up effortlessly and plopped him onto our bed.

"Is he okay?" Rose asked.

I gently prodded my husband's forehead and was pleased to see his cold skin was returning to its warm temperature. I placed my stethoscope back onto his chest and was glad that his heartbeat was raising back to normal as well as his pulse rate.

"Yeah, give him a few minutes; he's in shock, but he'll come around" I sighed in relief.

"I'm guessing you told him…" Alice guessed, a small smile tugging at her lips.

I nodded and everyone let out a chuckle too.

Jasper hugged Alice and I, in an attempt to keep us calm. Being a doctor really trains you up for all sorts of situations, but when it regards one of your loved ones, no amount of training can keep you from worrying. I couldn't even conceive the idea of living without Edward; my other half, my soul mate – just the idea pained me to my core.

However, Edward being the dramatic person he is, I shouldn't have expected anything less.

"Bella I'm bored…do you have a dictionary?" Emmett asked.

Trust him to get _bored _while his friend is lying unconscious in shock.

"In the study room" I answered absently while checking Edward for any signs.

He lifted his large self off the large black leather sofa and thudded into my library room and returned with my pocket dictionary, which he began flicking through.

"Are you sure it's even his? This wussbag's" Jasper asked me suddenly.

"Jasper…" Alice and Rose warned, knowing exactly what he was referring to.

I grunted and then glared long and hard at the lean honey blonde sitting opposite me.

"You'll see when he/she comes out with auburn hair and green eyes!" I retorted while picturing how beautiful our child would look like with Edward's features, if we had the child. I also knew why Jasper was doing this but it wasn't Edward's fault that he caught Jasper red handed participating in self grooming activities.

There was a moment of tense silence where everyone sat awkwardly staring at each other while Alice made us all cups of coffee to alleviate the stress.

"Rosalie you're a piece de resistance" Emmett blurted out. [Impressive item]

"Jasper, your face is cantankerous." [Ugly]

"Alice has a lot of tittle-tattle." [Gossip]

"Bella's face looks like a yarmulke." [Jewish round cap]

"And Edward is lackadaisical" Emmett finished proudly, seeming pleased in increasing his minute vocabulary.

"Edward doesn't have any flowers?" Rosalie guessed.

"It means lazy" I corrected "Which he is not!" I added.

"Yeah he is! I had to carry Mr. Lanky Face here all the way to the bed, and trust me, he is heavier than he looks" Emmett argued.

Well anyone would look lanky compared to Emmett.

"I am not lazy!" A dazed voice spoke up in defence.

Edward had woken up.

--

Shortly after my husband came around, I promptly kicked everyone out, thanking them for their assistance and moral support [physical in Emmett and Jasper's case]. I did this because I knew the amount of teasing he was going to get and right now, and that was the last thing he needed.

He sat down on the sofa, his hair even more unruly than usual, and clutched my left hand while holding a cup of coffee in the other, trying to recall the events that lead up to the few z's he had taken.

"Bella! We're going to have a baby!" He yelled in comprehension.

"Yeah" I mumbled, not sure how to take his surprise.

"Isn't than good?" he asked worriedly.

"Only if you want it to be" I replied hopefully.

He gathered me carefully in his arms and crushed me to his chest, stroking my hair delicately as if I were extremely breakable.

"I can't wait for this child" He whispered.

We pulled away and his face broke out onto a breathtaking smile, his teeth glowing in the dim light of the lamp and his candy apple eyes sparkling with happiness.

I kissed him softly on the lips, moving slowly to show him that I was just as euphoric as him, even though children were not at the top of my list, bit there nonetheless.

In the next few days, we spent many days at the OB GYN, checking up on the baby and me, and luckily we were both in excellent health. We decided to keep the gender a surprise and we asked our doctor to keep the details vague except when it came to the health and progress. I found out that I was already three months along meaning that it was a honeymoon baby. We decided to inform our parents about the bundle of joy before my bump became anymore pronounced. And what better way than to invite them for dinner, keep the atmosphere light and break the news.

This also meant that the morning sickness and hormones were taking over. Nobody wants to know how often I vomit or yell at my friends for no reason.

"I'm keeping the menu simple" I announced to Edward.

"Sure, honey" He agreed and kissed me lightly.

So it was settled: spaghetti Bolognese, Quiche, ice cream and Lamingtons.

Being the over emotional woman I was these days, I requested my husband to help me in the culinary department, or rather Cullenary department. Ha-ha, my hormones hold so much power, one of these days I'll be laughing at words like 'spoon.'

"Edward, get your ass over here! I'm carrying _your _child!" I screamed from the kitchen. So maybe 'requested' was the wrong word.

I could hear him sigh as he trudged into the kitchen, "What do you want me to do?"

"Chop those onions, garlic and tomatoes" I ordered while pointing to the ingredients.

He glared at the offending objects and then grabbed the tray and sat down at the table, chopping away.

After a couple of minutes, he finished and displayed the end result proudly.

To my horror, he chopped it all wrong!

"What did you do to the tomatoes?! I said dice them into small pieces, not into microscopic ones which look like tomato paste! And you had to slice the garlic not chop it!" I bellowed.

His face paled and his lips drew apart in shock, then suddenly, his expression went hard and he slammed the knife down and walked out, sniffing. So he cried at onions too. Great.

I walked forward closely examining his work and realised it wasn't _that _bad. In fact, it was very good, if it was the way I wanted it. Besides, it's not as if he cooked everyday anyway.

Tears began to well up in my eyes and I bit my lip in guilt. I was being a bitch to my very helpful husband and he deserved to be mad at me.

I ran to the living room and hugged him tightly, sobbing into his chest.

"I'm sorry Edward! It was so nice of you to help me and I was being an ungrateful bitch!" I cried, my chest hiccupping.

He patted my hair and placed a soft kiss there, "It's okay, love, I'm sorry too."

I reached up and kissed him with all my passion, winding my hair through his auburn hair as his fingers caressed my back, sending shivers of delight up my spine. We pulled away with ragged breaths and smiled at each other; we could work though this.

In harmony, we worked together in the kitchen, messing around and being productive at the same time. I managed to stir up the Bolognese in record time and let the Quiche bake in the oven. The ice cream was already in the freezer from _Haagen Dazs_ and Edward was an expert when it came to lamingtons.

It was a Friday night, and Esme, Carlisle, Charlie and Renee all arrived on time together, carpooling in the Cullen's Mercedes, looking elated to see us after nearly four months. As they knocked on the door, I flattened my black dress which didn't reveal too much of my figure and Edward straightened his navy blue button down shirt.

Esme and Renee bustled in, dressed in very flattering dark coloured dresses, similar to mine. Esme's caramel hair was tied back into a loose bun and my mother's hair was straightened sleekly around her defined face. Ironically, they were five months away from grandparenthood.

"Bella dear!" They exclaimed and enveloped me in loving hugs.

"We're so glad to see you!" My mother-in-law smiled.

"You too. I am so happy that you made it tonight" I told her earnestly.

"Bella, looks like you've put on weight" My mother commented, causing me to blush bright red, knowing she was absolutely right.

"Yes, well…" I trailed off.

Next came in Carlisle and Charlie. My father-in-law looked like he stepped out from a red carpet premiere of his latest Hollywood movie, looking dashing in his attire. My father walked in beside him and shared a manly handshake with Edward. Frankly, he looked pretty good too; he finally realised the importance of hair colorants and a tux that fits. Why did everyone have to look so young when they were about to be told about the next addition to their family?

"Great to see you Bells, looking good" Charlie smiled and gave me his trademark one armed hugs.

Carlisle smiled his million dollar smile, his green eyes lighting up just like his son's. Of course, the good looks ran in the family.

"How are you Bella?" He asked, with a mischievous look in his eye.

"Good!" I replied happily, knowing what he knew.

Esme and Renee helped me carry the food hot onto the table where the men say, eager to eat. Luckily, I had set the table before their arrival so I wouldn't struggle with it later.

Carlisle pulled out a crate which had two large bottles of fine red wine and gave it to me.

"Just a little something" He acknowledged.

"Thank you."

I was a little miffed since I had never been gifted wine of such high calibre, and now that I was, I couldn't drink it!

Edward knew exactly how I was feeling and was repressing a smile. Instead he held my hand under the table.

"Thanks Dad" He smiled.

Dinner began, and we all participated in small talk, catching up with the events that we had missed, while we filled them in on our trip to Australia with a little more animation. We also told them about our lamingtons, a cake recipe we picked up while dining at a local café which consisted of chocolate sponge cake and creamy chocolate filling.

Finally, Edward cleared his throat, "Bella and I would like to tell you something." He started, and squeezed my hand in reassurance.

Our parents straightened up and focussed on us, while I was blushing insanely.

"Bella's pregnant" He announced proudly.

Their eyes bulged out so far, I though they'd pop out. Charlie swallowed hard and Carlisle seemed strangely smug, but I already knew he could tell.

Renee and Esme let out a soft gasp and then huge watery smiles replaced their shock.

"Oh I'm so happy for you two! Tell us all about it!" Our mothers gushed.

I was _so_ not having this conversation on the dinner table.

"That's great. I'm just in shock." Charlie commented and then smiled lightly at us.

I knew how my father felt, he and I weren't so expressive about our emotions, but I knew that he was happy for my husband and I. Edward smiled down at me lovingly and I beamed up at him.

"So have you decided any names? Do you know the gender? How did it all happen?" They bombarded questions at us.

_How did it all happen? _

Was I supposed to go into the dynamics of that?

"Well we're still to decide on the names, and we want to keep the gender a surprise. I was feeling a little off and I began vomiting, so Alice, Rose and I went together and did the test…and here we are" I finished awkwardly.

Renee and Esme squealed in delight while Carlisle and Charlie patted Edward on the back.

"I can't wait for this little one!" Esme exclaimed.

And neither could I

--

It was now my sixth month, and I was showing quite a lot, but our OB/GYN said that the baby was healthy and that's why he was larger than usual.

Everyone at work now knew all the current updates since nothing escaped the gossipers of Seattle Hospital. I was often stopped in the hallway with people, not asking far along I was, but _telling _me themselves.

"Six months, not long now!" Katie Marshall had said.

I should really change doctors, but sadly, I wasn't bothered to.

I also went home earlier, since the whole having-a-baby thing really wore you out, and the waddling wasn't any help either.

After reaching home at eleven in the morning, I made myself lunch and prepared supper in time for Edward to get home, who also returned earlier since he was so paranoid about my health.

He bustled in at two in the afternoon, looking a little annoyed.

"What's wrong, honey?" I asked as I pecked his lips.

He sighed, "Everyone seems to know about your pregnancy and they can't stop talking about it!"

Of course.

"I know, but it's okay, we've suffered for six months, we can suffer another three" I reasoned.

Edward smiled lightly and hugged me tightly.

Suddenly, I had a very intense urge.

"Oh My Gosh" I whispered.

"What's wrong, love? Are you okay?" Edward asked, panicking.

I looked up at him, my eyes wide, but not with pain.

"I want to go to Antarctica" I said.

The worried expression on my husband's face was completely wiped out; instead, his eyebrows rose, questioning my sanity.

"Huh?" He asked, not comprehending my words.

"I want to go to Antarctica, and I want to go immediately!" I repeated.

"Why don't you sleep on it, love? Tell me if you still want to go in the morning." Edward tried to reason me out of it.

I shook my head vehemently, it was a strong feeling that my baby wanted to go there too. And even if Edward stopped me, I could always have Alice and Rosalie on my side.

"I_ need _to go" I insisted, with a strong sense of conviction in my voice.

Edward locked his emerald eyes with mine; looking deep into my soul, deciphering the need that I had.

"I'll call Alice; she can book the tickets for the next flight out" He murmured.

"Thank you so much! You don't know how much I love you" I screamed happily and kissed him deeply.

"I'm only doing this because I love you and our baby so much" He replied.

As soon as Alice got the gist of our plans, she surprised us.

"Jasper and I are coming too!" She shouted across the phone, which was on loudspeaker so I could hear the sibling exchange.

"Uh…my wife is crazy and pregnant, what's your excuse?" Edward asked as I socked him in the arm.

Alice's bell like laughter rang through the phone, "Because I want to go too! So, too bad, you're stuck with us. Jasper's gone to sort out the tickets already." She said.

"What about Rose and Emmett?" I asked.

Edward and Alice began to laugh again while the doorbell rang. I got up and waddled to the door, and laughed as well to see the very people.

"Name of the devil" I greeted them

Emmett let out a mock evil laugh which was abruptly halted by Rosalie's slap on his arm.

"Here, my homemade lemon slices! I bet you're having a craving for sugar!" Emmett thrust a tray of lemon slices at me, beaming proudly.

I was touched by the simple gesture; Emmett wasn't one for these kinds of things, "Thank you Emmett; it was so thoughtful" I thanked him and he wrapped me in a bear hug.

"You got to get this one out quickly – I can't hug your properly!" He complained.

"Hello? I am still on the phone people!" Alice shouted through the telephone.

Rosalie raised a questioning eyebrow.

"We're going to Antarctica – wanna come?" I asked her, smiling.

She raised her eyebrow again, "Am I supposed to take that seriously?"

Edward nodded vehemently – good, he was finally taking this acutely.

"SURE!" Emmett agreed and danced around the room, moving his backside with great enthusiasm.

"Ehh, sorry. My garage is under renovation I must be there to supervise" Rosalie said, looking upset.

"Oh…well it'll be just us four" Alice said sadly from the phone.

Rosalie nodded and Emmett looked a little disappointed and then they silently left our apartment.

"Emmett will come; I know it" Alice said confidently from the phone and I couldn't help but agree with her.

Lesson one: Never Bet against Alice.

--

Two weeks later and here we were, standing at the airport with a truck full of luggage. It was bad enough that we would need many layers of clothing to keep us warm in the harsh conditions, but with Alice _as well _the mass tripled.

Edward had been very reluctant over this trip – he was very worried about the baby and me since I was bigger than a hot air balloon and negative temperatures for my body weren't exactly that great.

"You know, we still don't have to go" Edward said while he and Jasper hauled the luggage to the check in.

"Too bad we're here and that we're super eager to go!" Alice chirped and flung out a Versace bag that looked far too nice for a trip to an uninhabited continent.

"HELLO LADIES AND SISSIES!" Emmett's booming voice rang out from behind us, causing me to jump three metres with fright.

Jasper and Edward grimaced and then wordlessly handed the tickets to check in man.

"I wish Rosalie was here" I sighed wistfully, feeling very guilty on leaving her behind.

"Yeah…" Alice agreed and then looked strangely at Emmett.

He sighed, "Look, I know you think I'm selfish, but I _am _engaged to her and we have the rest of our lives together. Maybe some alone time would be good. We're in that point of our relationship where we can trust each other to stay apart. Besides, I _really _want to check out the penguins over there."

Wow. Emmett hadn't sounded that sober since…well ever.

Maybe he was growing up, coming of age.

"This calls for a Bar Mitzvah!" I yelled.

Emmett, Jasper and Edward gave me one look and then muttered,

"Pregnancy."

Way to label someone.

The flight was long and boring; I was stuck between Edward and Emmett who were constantly bickering, while Edward would excessively fuss over me and Emmett would laugh and make fun of us.

"How are you? Do you need the toilet or anything?" My husband asked as he readjusted my seat for me.

"No, I would _tell _you if I was uncomfortable or needed to pee" I snapped.

"Feisty." Emmett grinned.

Jasper and Alice were in their own little loved up world, where they gazed into each others eyes and smiled like crazy.

"Such saps" I shook my head.

Jasper looked up and threw a peanut at my head and then returned to whispering corny lines to Alice.

"Damn!" Edward muttered.

Fourteen hours later we arrived at the unofficial capital of Antarctica – King George.

Our luggage was transported directly to our residence just five miles from the landing base, not even airport. The weather was bitterly cold and nipped me in all the exposed areas. Instead of using a car, we travelled in a snow buggy which our guide, Salvos drove expertly.

"Pimp" Emmett whispered to me.

"Primping Pimp" I agreed.

"Welcome to Antarctica; there is nothing to see except ice, penguins and polar bears. Enjoy your stay" Salvos welcomed us.

Well that was down to the point.

Salvos dropped us off at the 'lodgings' which was as big as a standard house back home. There was a small table behind which a receptionist sat, reading a book as her body was sprawled across the chair. Obviously a very popular holiday destination. Jasper stepped forward and introduced us in a very polite manner. The woman, who looked quite flustered due to the intense 'hotness' of the three men, began to check through the scant pages on her desk and then, swivelled around on her blue chair to retrieve three keys for the double rooms.

"Thank you for staying with Sainte George Lodgings, enjoy your stay" The woman with corn silk hair flattened her hair and then batted her eyelashes at Emmett who seemed to be the only one without a partner.

We walked down a narrow corridor of the house which was made of wood interior. There were three rooms in total on that side of the lodging, which when we entered, were far too small to be called double rooms. They looked more like our storage room where Edward had stuffed his umpteen amounts clothes.

Another surprise was…Rosalie!

My blonde haired best friend stood at the front of the last room at the end of the hallway, flushed red due to the cold weather and smiling widely. She was clothed in a thick coat and knee high snow boots, surrounded by her own stack of baggage.

"Rosie!" Emmett yelled and bounded over to his fiancée, catching her in a heated smooching.

"Oh my, Rose it's so great to see you! What are you even doing here?" Alice asked as I hugged Rosalie.

She only giggled and replied, "You guys are my family; I couldn't live a day without you, so I thought 'screw that' and packed my bags and now here I am!"

I really did love my friends.

We had been in Antarctica for five days but still hadn't gathered the energy to get out of the comfortably warm rooms and into the bitter, icy weather.

"Bella, today, we _have _to go out" Edward insisted as he kissed my full on the lips.

I groaned but agreed – there was no point travelling the length of the world, spending a whole load of money and then cooping up in a small wooden room.

So, Alice, Rose, Em, Jazz, Edward and I dressed up in fifteen layers of clothes and hired Salvos again to show us around. Well show us the snow.

"This…is…useless!" Alice chattered as we sped through the never ending scene of ice, and snow.

"Let's change the subject; what are you planning to name your child?" Jasper asked, with a very interested expression.

"Hmm…I was thinking Neyha for a girl" I commented.

Edward turned around to gape at me, "We are not naming our potential daughter after some tribe woman!"

"Hey! She was my only friend back in second grade! She was so cool, all Emo and wouldn't take shit from anyone. She even had black fingernails!" I described my friend.

Everyone looked at me as if I was crazy, but these looks were getting quite frequent now. It wasn't my fault I was pregnant, that blame went to Edward.

"I was thinking Eli for a guy…" Edward said thoughtfully.

I snorted, "No way!"

"Paris then" Edward reasoned.

I thought about it and I decided that I liked it after a few adjustments, "Paris Anthony for a boy."

"Anthony? _Why?" _Rosalie asked, her face scrunching up in confusion.

"So they know he's a boy and not some bimbo chick like Paris Hilton" I explained.

Everyone nodded in understanding while Edward was still in deep thought.

"And Carlie Neyha for a girl!" He smiled.

I beamed at him; I was really grateful that he had considered my wish and even thought it viable.

"That's perfect" I said.

"Carlie was always my favourite name, you know" Edward said while gazing at the never ending whiteness blurring past us.

We lapsed into a comfortable silence, reflecting on our lives and how they were about to change. For Edward and I, a new addition to our family was about to arrive, and for our friends, a new bond of love and friendship was about to be made. I began to feel slightly nervous, at the fact that this baby wasn't planned, but I still loved it with all my heart, but what I was worried about the most was how we would manage to nurture it; we weren't exactly parent material.

--

Today was the day we returned back home to our lovely, warm, comforting, and un-boring home.

Spending most of the time in bed or at the igloo restaurants opposite our lodgings, America had really earned its respect from us. Antarctica was cold, cold, cold. Really, there was no other word to describe it.

Salvos, our so-called guide insisted we take a painstaking trip to the special wildlife park the researchers had built, a few miles west from Sainte George. Edward and Rosalie had fervently refused since I wasn't in much of a state to go snow trekking with a huge bloated stomach in negative twenty five degrees Celsius. But, no, Salvos was _incredibly_ adamant that we must go.

So off we went, to 'The Wildlife Park' which honestly, looked exactly the same as the rest of the continent. Salvos was jumping with excitement, his thick black hair flopping around every time he described a piece of ice.

"Yes, yes, this is the BlahBlahBlah ice…" He would point at the frozen water.

Thankfully, Emmett cut to the chase, "Okay buddy, where are the Antarctic animals?"

Salvos smiled a yellowing smile, and lead us two metres from where we were standing.

There was a hundred penguins and a handful of polar bears all sitting limp in their surroundings. They looked as annoyed as I felt.

"That is pathetic" Alice had mumbled and I nodded in agreement.

"Penguins were so last Tuesday" Emmett said to Salvos.

"Tuesday? No, it's Wednesday" Salvos shook his head and walked off to his sleigh.

"I spent all this money to watch a few penguins sit and take a shit on each other, while the polar bears lie flat on their back. Great" Edward muttered.

--

So yeah, that went very well. Now, we were standing in the small room which was known as the airport, waiting for the aeroplane to start up.

"_Cullens and Hales, you may now board your plane."_

Excitedly, we boarded the plane, eager to return back to our families and where we belonged.

That was until halfway through the flight, an ear-splitting scream bubbled from my mouth.

The convulsions of pain were staggering; my breath whooshed out from inside me and I sat on my seat, literally suffocating.

"BELLA!" Edward roared as he unbuckled the seatbelt around me.

I let out another gut wrenching shriek erupted from me as some sort of rope seemed to be tightening inside me.

"Bella!" Rosalie and Alice shouted as Jasper and Emmett looked around helplessly to aid me in some way.

"LAND THE PLANE NOW!" Edward bellowed to the pilot in the cockpit.

Another spasm of pain rocked through me and I let out a wild snarl.

"BELLA STAY WITH ME!" Alice cried while getting me to lie down on the seats on which her and Edward were previously sitting on.

The pilot muttered something but I couldn't hear since me own screams drowned everything out.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T LAND? TAKE US TO FUCKING MEXICO IF YOU HAVE TO!" Edward hollered.

This is how three hours of my life were spent.

Breathless, painful, agonizing, life changing.

Rosalie and Alice checked to see if my water had broken, and just half an hour away from Seattle, that's exactly what happened.

"My baby is dying! Save it!" I screeched to everyone while the 3 members of cabin crew professionally stayed at least ten metres away from me.

Edward looked at me with blank eyes, his face expressionless; I could see he was calculating his child's chances of survival while it was airborne and ages away from the nearest civilisation.

"Please…save it" I whispered to him before I felt myself going numb and floating into darkness.

--

My eyes fluttered open to another wave of rattling pain in my stomach, and with a feeling that I was moving, and not in a plane.

"Carlisle!" A velvety voice shouted.

Another guttural snarl erupted from me, but I had the sinking feeling that my child wasn't under the best circumstances.

Carlisle let out a gasp in unison with another person.

"Bella!"

I realised it was Esme.

From what I heard, they spent no time in small talk and my bed was wheeled away even faster.

Two more cries and gasps joined in and after a comforting hand joined mine, I figured it to be Charlie and Renee – Edward must have called them while we were in the plane.

"Will…they be alright?" Charlie asked hesitantly.

"We can only hope so" Carlisle said gravely.

And that's when the labour kicked in; I felt my water breaking and more feral sneers erupting from me.

"Please Bella, keep strong, push, push!" Edward pleaded as he took hold of my left hand and Alice ran to slip her hand into my right one.

"Screw you Edward! This is your entire fault!" I screeched at him.

My husband looked at me, startled.

Emmett and Jasper let out a few chuckles, and even Charlie and Carlisle cracked a smile.

"Aaaahhhh!" I yelled as I pushed harder, feeling the perspiration build up on my forehead.

"Fuck you Edward!!" I shouted and all the nurses began tittering.

"Dilation now at 10 cm" Carlisle muttered to the female doctor, Dr. Robertson.

"10 cm? She should be delivering then." Edward said worriedly.

"Placenta…we _need _to cut the placenta! Damn it, it's killing the baby!" Carlisle yelled as another spasm of pain rocked through me.

"NO! NO!" Edward screamed, sounding horrified and tears began to stream down my face.

"SAVE IT!"

"Edward, I absolutely hate you!" I sobbed, trying to blame him instead of myself, even though I knew he was innocent.

"She doesn't mean that, does she?" He asked Esme and Renee who were to afraid to reply.

Suddenly, it felt like someone had patted me on the back and everything stuck inside me, was pushed out.

"Bella, come on, one more push…" Carlisle encouraged while Dr. Robertson worked on me.

And one more push I gave.

"It's a boy" Dr. Robertson acknowledged.

"Paris Anthony Cullen" Edward murmured, "He's remarkably striking."

But my body kept pushing – of its own accord; I knew I had delivered but I still felt like I was giving birth.

"A girl" the doctor accredited.

"What? A hermaphrodite?" I asked, my voice going two octaves higher. I couldn't fathom the future of my child like this. What would he put on his university application form? Male or female? Oh my gosh!

The room burst into relieved and amused laughter until Rosalie finally decided to explain what was going on.

"You have twins! One boy and one girl."

No wonder my stomach was so bloody huge!

"Carlie Neyha Cullen" I named.

Esme and Renee were overjoyed since my mother-in-law predicted a girl whereas my mother envisaged a boy; now that they had both, their clothes wouldn't go to waste.

Carlisle and Charlie looked a little chuffed at me being proclaimed grandparents at such young ages, especially Carlisle.

"I'm only forty three" My father-in-law grinned.

"Ahh, I guess you beat me; I'm forty four" Charlie laughed.

I smiled up at my family; Emmett was busying himself with Paris who although was sleeping seemed to entertain his uncle greatly while Rosalie looked on with pleasure. Jasper and Alice where hunching over Edward who cradled Carlie with the utmost care with Carlie's aunt already planning her wardrobe.

Edward came to kiss me softly on the lips, handing me Carlie while carefully prying Paris off Emmett.

"They're beautiful" I whispered, a few tears trickling down my cheek.

"Just like you" Edward grinned.

"Pfft, I beg to differ" I disagreed.

In fact, they were a mix of Edward and I both, making them all the more gorgeous. Carlie and Paris both had green eyes, just like their handsome father, but my daughter had a fuzz of bronze hair while my son had a patch of brown hair, similar to mine. He also had my slightly rounder nose unlike his sister who surprisingly, had Alice's defined nose.

"Oh my! She has my nose! Hopefully she has my shopping gene too, unlike her stubborn mother" Alice squeaked with glee.

"Paris is _so _going to be joing our clan of Wii players. I can already picture him kicking Jasper's ass on Halo 3" Emmett beamed.

"Language please" Esme grumbled while caressing Paris's tiny face.

Edward and I turned to gaze at our children again, the live luminous in our eyes.

"Welcome to the world, Carlie and Paris"

**REVIEW!!!!!!!! **

**OKAY ONE MORE CHAPTER LEFT SO PLEASE REVIEW!!!**


	11. Uncut: Epilogue

**A/N: Hey guys! I'm so sorry this took two weeks to post, I've just been SO busy with studying and other things life requires me to do. Yes, this is the last EVER chapter of the Confessions series and I do believe it is a very original epilogue. Read, it and you'll see what I mean, and even then, if you don't understand, just review me and let me know. So ONE LAST TIME, REVIEW PLEASE!!!!**

**Love you all so much, and thank for all your support, reviewing, alerting and favouriting. If there are any typos, please forgive me! **

**Maaya xox **

**The Talk**

Today was the twenty second of November. It was on this day, sixteen years ago that my husband and I became proud parents of two beautiful children. It also happened to be exactly one week prior to their Prom night.

Inevitably, this meant only one thing; the sex talk.

"Carlie! Paris!" I yelled from my seat beside my husband who looked as tense as I felt.

I shook the horrid thoughts out of my mind and comforted myself, "It'll be fine; we have great kids." I said as my soul mate squeezed my hand.

"So were we, but we didn't listen" Edward said wryly.

I shook my head vehemently, refusing to rebuke since the twins came to a fluid stop in front of us.

"Yes?" They asked in unison, something you can only pick up while having a twin.

"Please sit, we have something to say" Their father gestured for them to take their seats on the black sofa opposite us.

Two pairs of green eyes stared in ours, as if challenging us to speak the wretched words. Edward and I squirmed in our seats, silently begging one another to start the conversation.

Paris and Carlie shared a conspiring look; of course they knew what this was about.

"You are both now sixteen years old; intelligent and fine-looking young adults who must realise the importance of responsibility." I started, breaking the ice.

Both of them bit their lips from laughing; in some ways they were so alike, you'd think they shared the same mind, but at other times, there was a world of difference between them. Carlie was the spitting image of her father; bronze hair with perfect curls from her grandfather Charlie, the same bright emerald eyes and an assertive and outgoing personality who also happened to be a daddy's girl. No wonder Edward was finding this so difficult.

Paris was like me in except for the height and sparkling candy apple eyes. He was tall and lean with a shock of brown hair and the same uneven top lip like mine and was betrothed with the similar shyness and love for books that I had.

"We realise that with the Prom-" Edward grimaced at the word "-coming up, you may start dating. However, you know the ground rules and your curfew which _must _be obeyed. We advise you against doing anything rash, because _you _will suffer the consequences" He finished sternly, staring down both children whose lips were still twitching.

Well I couldn't blame them; I found this funny at their age too.

"And I'm sure you're aware of the effects of drugs, alcohol, sex and teen pregnancy" I added but my voice broke at the end.

"MUM!" Carlie said, outraged whereas Paris simply snickered.

"Okay. Okay nearly done. Just one more question…" I trailed off looking helplessly at Edward.

He looked right back at me, as unwilling as I. We both stared each other off, before my eyes began to water and I blinked. I sent my loving husband one last glower.

"Areyouvirgins?" I squeaked.

If I didn't know what I was asking, I don't think I could have understood a word if it myself.

Beside me, Edward closed his eyes, rocking back and forth slightly, probably imagining a less awkward time.

"Are. You. Virgins?" I asked slowly and carefully, enunciating each word just for the sake of it.

Edward's eyes fluttered open when a set of feet stomped on the floor; Carlie was standing on the sofa with her jaw dropping.

"Always the theatrical one, my baby girl" Edward murmured.

"Of course I am! What did you think?" She asked angrily.

Edward and I smiled happily; it was Carlie we were more worried about, not to sound sexist or anything.

Paris flushed pink, presumably with chagrin after laughing at his dramatic sister.

"Mum, Dad, I am so sad, the only girls I step in a two mile radius of are these two" He mumbled and pointed to Carlie and I.

"Aww Paris honey! You're not sad – simply reserved." I ran to my son and hugged him tightly.

"My point" he muttered as I squished him to me.

"Don't worry son, give it another year or so; that's what I did." Edward ruffled Paris's hair and looked away awkwardly.

"Your dad was like that – _very _popular with the girls" I smiled wickedly.

"But your mother is my only woman" Edward smiled at me and kissed me softly.

"Eww! Enough with the PDA!" Carlie yelled with disgust.

Too bad; Edward and I were always up for PDA.

**Shop-till-you-drop**

Friday afternoons were my time of bliss. I'd get settled on the large sofa in front of the flat screen and have a TV marathon along with a two point five litre coke bottle and a bowl of buttered popcorn enjoying my half day. Carlie had after school basketball and Paris went to watch a movie with Chris and Liam – Emmett and Rosalie's sons who were a year or two younger than Paris. Of course, Edward was at the hospital – as always. As soon as the opening credits of _Desperate Housewives _began, a screaming Carlie entered the room, drenched in sweat in her basketball kit.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked, feeling a little irked that my alone time was interrupted by a very smelly Carlie.

"I will DIE of embarrassment!" She screeched with anger.

Suddenly, a dancing Alice and her annoyed looking daughter Nina walked into the room, smiling brightly.

"Aunt Alice _dragged _me out of practise in front of _everyone!_" My daughter explained.

"Alice" I chided.

"Yes, hello to you too. Too bad, we're well overdue for some girl time. Get ready and we'll be going. And Carlie, honey, you _need _deodorant" Alice said and pulled me off the sofa while ushering Carlie to the bathroom.

--

Half an hour later, we were traipsing around Seattle Mall with Alice flinging clothes at us from every direction.

"Mum, I am NOT wearing pink!" Nina yelled at her mother and then snatched the offending garment and flung across the shop.

My best friend sighed in resignation; her daughter was exactly how she didn't want her to be.

"Your father is a bad influence on you" She commented.

So Alice had taken to blaming Jasper for his supposed bad genes, although I don't see how taking massages and facials make you excessively masculine.

She thrust a purple dress into my hands and insisted that I try it on.

"I'm thirty eight!" I hissed after seeing how inappropriate it was.

"I'm sure Edward would love it" Alice wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"My daughter is right there!" I snapped at her, making her smirk.

"Too bad I heard all of that. Thanks ladies; I'm scarred" Carlie called over to us.

This was NOT happening. I covered my hands with my face.

My daughter decided she hadn't mortified me enough.

"Oh buy the fucking dress! You know you cant wear that dress in five years' time."

"Language! I cannot believe you have the nerve to use such profanity!" I chided.

Carlie stared at me incredulously, "So what's with the swearathon with Uncle Emmett then?" she smirked.

I tried to think of a come back but I couldn't, "You have a point" I said, defeated.

After a moment of silence I said, "Just don't do it in front of you father."

We continued to walk around the mall, me buying unnecessary underwear and Carlie buying enough bras to open up her own shop. Alice and Nina seemed to have bought every mini skirt in sight.

"A hot pink bra!" Carlie shouted excitedly, "I haven't got one of those yet!"

"Do you really need it? Besides it looks a bit big for you" I said.

Carlie slowly locked her emerald eyes with mine and pulled a serious expression.

"Are you measuring my chest with your eyes? 'Cause I gotta say, mum that's disturbing in every manner."

My mouth dropped open and my cheeks were a flaming red. My children were far too witty fro their own good.

Next we headed to the food court since Nina claimed she was as hungry as the fasting Muslims of the Middle East.

Beside me, Carlie tensed.

"What's wrong?" Alice and I asked worriedly.

She didn't reply and her gaze was fixed on a…boy.

NO! She was too young! Perhaps not, but still!

"Carlie Neyha Cullen!" I snapped and pulled her along.

She numbly followed me but I knew her mind was anywhere but here.

Nina leaned around her small mother and smirked at Carlie, "Shane Black? Nice."

Carlie snapped out of her gaze and briskly walked to the McDonalds counter.

"Ooh, I think he's hot" Alice laughed as she caught sight of the boy. I was not impressed.

"You're married. Nina, who is he?" I asked.

"Your friend Jacob Black's son. He's a junior and damn, he's good-looking!" She said and elbowed her mother.

Jacob's son…that wouldn't be too bad.

He had Jacob's black hair and large body but Nessie's pale skin and brown eyes; honestly, he _was _good looking.

As we approached the food court, we saw that Carlie was talking to someone. Shane. Her cheeks were a faint pink just like her father's when he got flustered; she looked incredibly cute. She smiled shyly and he swiftly kissed her cheek and walked away.

What just happened?

Alice ran towards my daughter and demanded to know all the details immediately.

"He asked me to Prom…and I said yes" She blushed and looked at me for permission.

I smiled shakily in agreement.

My little girl was growing up.

**Stop, stop, and don't shop!**

There was one thing that was nagging me, but I constantly pushed it to the back of my mind. The chances of it occurring were very slim, but I couldn't help but wonder about it. Now, I'm not saying that he can't do it; he's just apprehensive about it.

"A penny for your thoughts?" A soft voice interrupted my fretting.

I looked up to find my loving wife, gazing at me with adoration. It astounded me that, even sixteen years later, we loved each other just like newly weds. Over the years, she had matured, but not aged; her waist length hair was now cut in elaborate layers just below her shoulders, and her round face had become more defined. Her eyes were the ever warm chocolate hue, still young and alive as was her tendency to blush at everything.

I took her in my arms and smiled ruefully, contemplating whether to share my concerns or not. However, we were married, and marriage meant not secrets.

"I was wondering about Paris…" I trailed off, gauging Bella's reaction.

A sudden excitement lit her eyes and she was eager for me to go on, "What were you thinking?"

"Paris and Prom" I answered.

"And..." Bella prodded her grin growing wider.

I scrutinized her face, confused at the strange happiness.

"Do you know something I don't?" I asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Maybe" She answered dubiously.

We had a stare down; with me trying to get the news out of my wife, and my wife trying to get my thoughts out in the open.

"Okay fine! Paris _actually _got a date!" Bella squealed in excitement; you'd think _she _was the one who just got asked out by her long time crush. "And well, so did Carlie" She mumbled.

"WHAT?!" I yelled and jerked back a metre with shock.

"Oh Edward, come on, we were that age once too. And it's Jacob and Nessie's son" Bella persuaded and then kissed me passionately.

My will was crumbling; I knew that if Carlisle and Esme stopped me, I wouldn't be anywhere near Bella.

"Fine, but strict rules will be enforced and I must meet this young man" I hedged.

Bella's answering smile was blinding.

This news was exactly what was nagging me.

I know that Paris is my son, and I know he is a very handsome young man, but I didn't know he had _that _much courage! In fact, I was relying on his shyness to get out of buying him a car for Prom and his date.

Damn.

"Wow! Who gave him the pep talk?" I asked jokingly.

"Me! I convinced him so sum up the courage; you only graduate high school once" Bella said proudly.

My wife was more of a coach than I thought she was.

"I'm impressed" I nodded approvingly.

"You know what this calls for?" Bella asked eagerly.

"What?"

"Shopping!"

--

Yes, that very word coming out of Bella's mouth shocked me too. It looked like Alice had finally gotten to her, after thirty years of persuasion; Alice was dolling up Bella ever since fourth grade, apparently.

So now, we were all standing in Seattle Mall, with the majority of us thinking of being in better places.

By _all of us _I mean Alice, Emmett, Bella, Carlie, Paris and I.

Emmett insisted he come, since he wanted to help in the car field, even though Rosalie would be _way _better. I think he just wanted to make fun of us, like he always does. If we had come without Alice, we would all be dead and buried by the time she found out, and besides, she was a fashion designer so she would know about all the tuxedo trends, or whatever they called it. Bella wanted to come to give a female opinion and just take a look at all the potential dresses for Carlie and Nina while Paris was pretty much the whole reason we were here. And I? I was here because I was such a push over thanks to my wife kissing me senseless and my sister giving me heartbreaking puppy dog eyes. Tragic, really.

So you ask where are the rest?

Rosalie and Jasper are having sibling time, even though they don't really need it since we meet up every weekend. However, they're also babysitting – their own fifteen year old children.

Nina, Chris and Liam were at home with their mother/father/uncle/aunt.

And to be honest, I have no idea what they were doing; perhaps they were awkwardly watching _American Idol, _with Simon Cowell scrunching his face up in distaste at every person who auditions, or maybe they were baking cookies, with Chris and Liam pelting raw dough at Jasper's face.

Alice dragged us into a large, fancy department store which had nearly everything we needed.

"Let's just get everything and then leave" I suggested.

Alice looked at me, horrified and then dramatically slapped her hand onto her mouth. "Edward, how could you say that?! We will only buy what we think is the best!"

I sighed.

"OH MY GOD!" Carlie yelled and swung a long black dress off the hook.

This was not happening.

"I haven't even seen you try it on but it's perfect!" Alice trilled and pushed Carlie into a changing room while Bella smiled…like an idiot.

Meanwhile, Emmett, Paris and I trudged over to the Men's section and half-heartedly looked at the tuxedos.

"This one will make your butt look big; trust me, I have experience" Emmett warned touching a glossy looking dinner jacket and trousers.

"This one looks like something from Grandpa Carlisle's era" Paris commented on a grey suit with large lapels.

"True" I nodded and remembered the pictures of Carlisle and Esme's wedding with them looking young and gorgeous – and incredibly funny.

Soon, we were laughing and joking around with the various styles and colours which varied from tight leather jackets to hot pink tuxedos.

A strange rap song began playing overhead, loud and obnoxious and reminded me of my days in Seattle Hospital and spending the day with aspiring 'Fifty Cents.'

"Alright! Alright! Okay, okay! I don't dance – no way! I get my Louis rag and wing round in the air; I take my Gucci rag and swing it round in the air!" Paris and Emmett began yelling along with the song. I could feel myself flushing pink with embarrassment as my son and best friend wiggled their backsides in my face.

"Stop, please" I requested them calmly.

This only roused them more and they screamed the lyrics out to the already disturbed people, "Alright! Alright! Okay, okay! I don't dance – no way! I get my Louis rag and wing round in the air; I take my Gucci rag and swing it round in the air!"

"Emmett, I know Paris is an unstable teenager who is going through rough times of music taste, but what's your excuse?"

My burly friend laughed it off and claimed that "he had children too."

Sure didn't look like it.

Seemed like they only knew the chorus.

Chris and Liam should have been there; they were the only ones who could control their father.

Or maybe not.

"PLEASE! If you have any dignity left will you please stop the dirty break dancing!" I hissed as I tore Paris away from Emmett's huge figure.

Unfortunately, I was nearing middle age where your strength is nothing compared to your sixteen year old son's who pushes you off like a piece of dirt.

I scanned the area to see a group of women laughing and nudging each other in the perfume and make up corner and I slowly edged away from the offenders. Thankfully I saw Bella who was also looking Emmett and Paris's way with wide eyes but I couldn't tell whether she wanted to laugh or cringe.

"Save me!" I begged Bella who was flanked by Carlie and Alice.

Alice and Carlie laughed in harmony, my daughter's laughter not as high but beautiful all the same. I slung one arm around Bella and one around Carlie who clutched Alice for support.

Alice flung out her fancy phone and began taping the candid video laughing hysterically as the two dancers were lost in their own world while parading with bow ties, normal ties and cufflinks in their informal attire.

Alice's phone buzzed and se attended it, "Hello...Hey Jasper…is Nina okay…and the boys…Rosalie?"

"Are you _sure _there are no guys in her room? Have you checked in the last fifteen minutes? No? Go then!" Alice ordered.

Bella gave her a wry look.

"Yeah I told Jasper to check up on Nina and he got all angry – apparently if there _was _a guy in her room, he'd be dead by now, although I do think that's harsh" Alice shook her head and Bella nodded.

"It's not harsh at all; I would to the same in Carlie's case" I defended my other best friend and unconsciously pulled Carlie closer to me.

"You two are overprotective" Alice scowled.

"Yeah!" Carlie joined in.

I shook my head vehemently; they just didn't get the point – our sisters, daughters, mothers and wives were the most important women in our life, we can't bear to think anything wrong about them.

"Just because I'm letting you go to prom with a _date _doesn't mean you have to push it" I warned.

"Too bad, when I get my boyfriend you'll just have to put up with him" Carlie said smugly.

My eyes widened, "No. No way at all. Forget it."

"Pfft…you'll come around daddy." My daughter looked up at me from her thick fringe of lashes and locked her scorching eyes with mine.

Damn Cullen genes; we were all too persuasive – now I knew what Bella meant by the hypnotic eyes.

I looked away and caught another turn of events with Emmett and Paris.

Paris was jamming' with his uncle when his eyes caught something. He abruptly froze and slapped Emmett's huge head into the corner of the store in the men's section and leaped into the corner after him.

"Ooh..ouch! Get off me you son of a…" Emmett hissed.

"Go on; say what you were about to. By the way my dad's right outside" Paris said smugly. My son makes me proud.

Emmett backed down and Paris's gaze fell back on the something…on a girl!

I grinned like crazy.

"It's Ellen!" Carlie exclaimed and bounded off to the blonde haired girl.

My eyebrows scrunched up in confusion and Bella, sensing my disconcertion, began to explain, "_She's _Paris's date; they're in the same school and Alice and I happen to know her mother, Mrs. Duncan – she's very nice"

I sighed; my kids were growing up, and before I would know it, they'd be out of the house.

Back to the present.

Carlie came back and babbled to Alice about Ellen who was as pink as Bella when she caught sight of Paris who looked oddly rigid as he smiled across the floor. I only realised later that he was pushing against Emmett who was hidden in the rows of tuxedos behind him.

Thankfully, Paris played along and bought the first tux Alice suggested, not wanting to disobey his knowing aunt and Carlie was content with the black and rather revealing at the back dress. Alice saw my distaste and patted my arm reassuringly.

"Chillax Edward" She'd said.

So I'd 'chillaxed.'

We were now standing inside a car showroom, waiting for the official papers to be printed, proving our purchase at Seattle Motors.

Of course, the car was still under my name.

Edward Cullen.

We had trailed around the vast showroom, identifying the positive and negative aspects of each vehicle; however, none caught our sight, or well in particular, mine.

Bella was keen on huge red Chevy truck, but Jasper, who was on the phone at the time said that if Paris drove it, he'd look gay and if Carlie drove it, she'd look too scary. So that was out.

Alice wants everyone to be like her, so she recommended the yellow Porsche parked at the front of the building. Rosalie, who was next on the phone, said that since Paris and Carlie were Bella's children, they were bound to be clumsy and that clumsiness with Porsches was unaffordable.

Emmett suggested the Mercedes; saying a bit of class couldn't kill anyone, which was unusual for him since he drives a huge ugly jeep like an angry bear most of the time. Unsurprisingly, Carlie and Paris declined the offer.

The twins insisted on the Ferrari but were told that we weren't made out of money. Although we did have quite a lot in excess, I wasn't about to tell them that; then the Ferrari would have been in the bag.

And what did I suggest?

Guess.

A Volvo! They are strong, sturdy, graceful, good value, I could go on…

However, I was met with a harsh "NO!" from everyone else. I just didn't understand, what was wrong with them?

"We're not Edward clones" Carlie muttered angrily.

Nice to know my children love me.

So, as we were making our way home, a little miffed and annoyed at each other, we saw a great car. It was like the spotlight was only on _that _car.

And I couldn't believe I actually wanted them to buy it. Maybe it had something to do with me driving it as well.

"Edward, you're not serious are you?" Bella asked incredulously.

I was serious.

"I am. Absolutely" I replied.

And that brought us to a round circle; I had blown off $100,000 on a car for my kids. Luckily there wasn't much of a dent in my bank account.

An Aston Martin Vanquish S.

My children better love me now.

**The Night After Prom **

I was so relieved; there were no words to describe my feelings. Bella and I had sat up together, dutifully and waited six hours until Paris and Carlie returned home from their Prom.

I was worried about three main things: Carlie and Shane Black, who actually seemed very happy and content together, Paris and the innocent Ellen and finally, my one day old Vanquish.

First came a euphoric Carlie, beaming all around with an equally happy Shane, who I had to admit looked more like a model than a child. He was lively and protective like Nessie and outgoing like Jacob, and I couldn't help but think he wasn't that bad. Carlie even had the nerve to kiss him at the door!

Next came the purr of my beloved car, even though Bella and I only took it out for a few minutes. I kissed Bella in earnest as I saw the car come home in one piece – I was so happy; I had to express it _somewhere. _

Finally, out stepped a flushed, dishevelled and rather pleased Paris. Maybe that Ellen wasn't so innocent.

"You had sex in the new car!" Bella yelled and then dramatically collapsed onto my arm.

The smug face was wiped off immediately and shocked crossed his face.

"Mum! How horny are you! No, I just had an eventful goodbye…" Paris trailed off and then flushed.

"Oh" Bella said, and I thought I heard a tinge of disappointment.

Well I certainly didn't disappoint her that night.

--

The succulent smell of steak, pasties, vegetables and mash potatoes wafted through the room, making my mouth water. I lifted my newspaper back to my face, trying to avoid the delicious smells diffusing around me. Bella was too good a cook for her own good.

Carlie lounged on the sofa opposite me, unfazed by the mouth watering scent as she openly ogled some random actor on television. At least he wasn't real – in our world.

The radio blasted from the kitchen, random songs travelling through the airwaves as Paris and Bella sang obnoxiously and banged wooden spoons in the pans. It was strange that Paris was such a fan of cooking but then again once Bella told him that the women love it, his intentions were much clearer.

The bell rang, low and loud and a united front of groans erupted from everyone – all of hated getting the door. Soon we'd have to set up a rota.

Paris literally waltzed out of the room in an apron and white hair thanks to the flour flight he and Carlie had earlier and flung open the door.

Rosalie slid in, flanked by Liam and Chris and Emmett behind her.

"Paris! Even in such a state, you look dashing!" She said.

"Thanks Aunt Rose. You look great too" Paris replied politely.

Rosalie scowled at me and I scowled back; it was our own form of greeting. Sometimes we slipped up on our civility.

Emmett made a beeline for the kitchen and then cam out, stacked with beer cans from the fridge. My mouth was suddenly dry. He moved Carlie to the side by bashing his hip with hers, causing her to fly off the edge.

"ARGH! You are SO annoying!" She screeched.

Emmett only smirked in return, "That's why you love me baby!"

I glared at him while Carlie stomped off.

Chris, Liam, and Paris laughed at something and then headed upstairs.

Next, Jasper, Alice and an unusually feminine Nina entered the house air kissing everyone on the way. It looked like Nina's grimace was carved on her face.

"Ooh, beer!" Jasper's eyes lightened up as he snagged a beer from Emmett's lap.

I switched the large TV on and we settled into the baseball game.

"Why the ugly face?" I asked Nina whose grimace had deepened even more.

She looked at me in disbelief; it was obvious why she was so pissed – pink and Nina did not go together.

"I hate pink" She answered simply and turned to Carlie and began snickering about something.

Emmett laughed heartily and snapped open a can of beer.

"I'm so glad Uncle Emmett isn't my dad; he's so _bad_" Carlie and Nina glared at Emmett. At least his boys didn't like that of him, I think.

Suddenly, Emmett shakily put the can down on the coffee table and sighed, his eyes staring blankly at the TV.

"You alright?" Jasper asked cautiously.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine" Emmett brushed it off.

Jasper and I smiled with pleasure; at least _we _were good enough fathers.

We began talking about my less than intelligent purchase; the Vanquish standing outside.

"Now _that _car – I wasn't expecting" He laughed and picked up the fancy keys on the coffee table and began twirling the around suggestively.

"Don't worry, we'll drive it after lunch" I promised.

Eventually, dinner was set with Bella and Alice looking even jumpier than ever as each large dish was laid on the table. We had joined two tables together just so everyone could sit together – we were very family people.

The dinnertime chit chat flowed easily through all of us, as we laughed and joked from things about _our _new Vanquish to Nina's pink hair tie. However at one point Emmett and Rosalie shared a worried look and then turned to us, clearing their already clear throats.

"We have something to tell you…" Rosalie began.

Everyone froze; even a fork clattered noisily onto a plate signifying the tense moment.

"Well, we know it's really late and everything, but we still wanted to; Rosalie is pregnant." Emmett announced proudly.

That's why he was so upset and the girls' comment!

I smiled widely and patted him on the shoulder, "I am happy for you, man"

He smiled back and his eyes glided over to where Carlie and Nina picked at their food, with guilty faces. They looked up.

"Sorry, Uncle Emmett; you know we were just annoyed – we didn't mean any of it." They apologised.

"It's okay, I forgive you. And by the way it _is _a girl!" He grinned.

I raised my eyebrows and everyone turned to look at him.

"You spoilt the whole surprise!" Rosalie slapped him on the head.

He shrugged and leaned in to kiss her, and everyone promptly looked away.

Then, the doorbell rang.

"You invited your parents as well? They're kinda late though" Jasper noted.

"No, no we didn't invite them" Bella shook her head and then went to get the door.

We waited in tense silence.

Bella returned with two tall boys in tow.

Carlie and Nina blushed.

My eyes widened.

Jasper exploded.

Well, he didn't explode in the literal sense, but he did create quite a ruckus. His face puckered up and went periodically red, the waves of antagonism emanating from him in great doses. Everyone else shrank back, and Nina, well she looked like her entire life was flashing in front of her.

"Who is this?" Jasper gritted out, no trace of the usual calmness.

There was an audible gulp, "Daddy, this is Cameron" Nina introduced.

We smiled at him politely while Jasper continued to glare.

"Good afternoon sir, sorry to interrupt your lunch but I'd like to take your daughter to lunch, if that is okay with you" He spoke formally, his blonde hair falling into his golden eyes.

Jasper was taken back by the politeness.

Alice looked at him eagerly, and jumped up and down in her seat, hissing 'yes' and 'please.'

A huge sigh later, "Alright, but have her back by six and give me your phone number"

There were hoots all around.

Next, came the delicate issue of _my _daughter, who only smiled angelically, with a knowing look on her face.

Bella's pleading eyes were unbearable, but she knew I would cave in. I hated my wife and daughter for making me such a pushover.

"Good afternoon Mr. Cullen, is it okay if I take Carlie out too?" Shane Black asked.

"Go on" I said reluctantly "And it's Edward"

Shane smiled happily and carefully wound his arm around Carlie, treating her like a fragile glass.

Maybe he wasn't _that _bad of a guy after all.

And amidst all the chaos, turmoil, tears and pain, there was another substantial part named happiness. With Bella by my side, nestled into my arm and gazing at me lovingly, with the knowledge that my children were growing up and experiencing new things everyday and with my friends surrounding me, with the same elated faces, I knew that I felt loved, worthy and content.

So, despite all the confession, declarations and issues, we lived happily ever after.

**Hate it? Love it? Let me know in one last review and I'll be forever grateful. And I must say, I am disappointed in the review counts for this story, so make my day!**

**xox**


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